Poison
05-04-2006, 08:07 PM
A briefIntroduction
to the
Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
Also known as
Bobenomics
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in Borrowdale, so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman informs you that
One beer
now costs
150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were still quite common a few years ago ) you can sit back and enjoy a beer while the barman counts out
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem.
Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams
So this little lot weighs in at
45 000 000 grams
or
45 000 kgs
or
45Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer worry about that one.
There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P S For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these figures on a daily basis.
to the
Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
Also known as
Bobenomics
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in Borrowdale, so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman informs you that
One beer
now costs
150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were still quite common a few years ago ) you can sit back and enjoy a beer while the barman counts out
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem.
Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams
So this little lot weighs in at
45 000 000 grams
or
45 000 kgs
or
45Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer worry about that one.
There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P S For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these figures on a daily basis.