Steve Scott
05-08-2006, 08:42 AM
A brief introduction to the Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
- also known as "Bobenomics"
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in Borrowdale (a pub in Harare), so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman informs you that one beer now costs:
150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were still quite common a few years ago ) You can sit back and enjoy a beer while the barman counts out:
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem. Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams, so this little lot weighs in at:
45 000 000 grams or...
45 000 kgs or...
45 Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer worry about that one. There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to:
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of:
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is:
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of:
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order:
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P.S. For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these figures on a daily basis.
- also known as "Bobenomics"
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in Borrowdale (a pub in Harare), so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman informs you that one beer now costs:
150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were still quite common a few years ago ) You can sit back and enjoy a beer while the barman counts out:
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem. Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams, so this little lot weighs in at:
45 000 000 grams or...
45 000 kgs or...
45 Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer worry about that one. There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to:
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of:
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is:
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of:
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order:
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P.S. For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these figures on a daily basis.