Ever get cocky with a Zim cop?

[vukenmuven]

Once, just a few days after passing my drivers in Zim, I was stopped outside Chinoyi by one hell-of-a big mamma police woman for speeding.

Her comment: "You were speeding, what do you have to say for yourself?"

All that I could come up with as a reply was: "Man, this car can go fast!"

Not only did I get the speeding ticket, but another for the cheekiness! Had a great time try to explian that to the cop at Avondale Police Station whilst trying to pay the damned things.

[Shayne]

I got detained for telling the Head women of CIO to "fuck off". I was parked on the side of the road in a shopping centre (not causing any traffic problems) and this bitch comes behind me and starts hooting. After about 30 seconds of it, I lost it, climbed out the car and screamed "Fuck offfffff for fucks sake". Two policeman who i didnt see then climbed out of the back of the car and aaaarrrested me.

"I am the Head of the CIO and you can fuck off you baastard".

Talk about grumpy.

[biffon]

Not really cocky but still lucky not to be arrested..

I nearly caused a brawl at a fuel station with cops present cause i was called a "stupid murungu" for not closing my car door to let some mavro past (i was the only car at the fuel station so they could have gone past any other way). The cops didnt know what to do when these three black guys jumped out of the car and confronted me when i refused to close my door to let them past.
I grabbed the smallest most agressive/drunk one by the scruff of his neck and proceeded to shove him back over their bonnet, and then turned to the next one which was a big brute of a guy! bit of a tussle ensued... with me being held back by the petrol attendant and a cop... I was pissed!
eventually they told me to "GO now!! or you will be in big trouble with these people"
i took off chop chop!

[Adam]

Poison almost ran a cop down at full speed one night after we were out clubbing. Ask him to tell the story, it was funny:smiley36: :smiley36: but also we were shitting ourselves:shithappens:

[chantillylace]

Not really cocky but still lucky not to be arrested..

I nearly caused a brawl at a fuel station with cops present cause i was called a "stupid murungu" for not closing my car door to let some mavro past ........

Biffon where did you learn the word MAVRO?

[chantillylace]

My favourite was the cop who told Jeni that she couldn't drive on her British License for a year.......only for 365 days!

[RustyBear]

A mate of mine(dont think he would want his name mentioned) was aressted one night at xcsape and was put in the back of a santana only for the cops not to put handcuffs on him and the cop in the back swore at him, he told the cop swear at me again and ill hit you so the cop slapped him only for my mate to give him a full fist square on the snot box, he had to pay a huge fine and as for some sweet talking from the mate dad he missed a spell in inside.

[MAJONI]

Hey, steady on. I was a Cop. Okay that was yonks ago, many ions away. About 6 years ago before I left Zim, I called the cops to my Business premises to clear my entrance to the factory. It was being blocked by 30 odd Zambian Trucks collecting Maize from GMB. They refused to move when I asked them, hense calling the Cops. They sent a bloody young Gook who hadn't a clue. He did nothing but talk shit to the drivers. I got so pissed off that I sped into my place in my little Corsa Bakkie, hitting the cop with the wing mirror as I did so. He ran after me all the way to my office ,shouting abuse directed at me. I stopped the Car in my Parking Bay, got out, (by this time the Cop had arrived,still shouting). Well, I simply lost it and layed him out. He got up and said "You can't hit a Policeman" - I replied, "I just did and will do it again if you don't Fuck off right now!". He left and ran back to the Cop shop. Next thing, the whole bloody Riot Squad arrived, but I managed to talk my way out of arrest. My workers vouched for me.

[biffon]

Biffon where did you learn the word MAVRO?

I have some portuguese friends... nuff sed!

[chantillylace]

Mavro is a greek word - didn't know it was portuguese too.

[Doro]

Thought I drag this up people....

I was at a house party in Marondera where there was the Dr Feelgood DJ kit (those of you who know Dr Feelgood will know who I am talking about...) and were having a party on full volume as he didn't like his neightbours.... well they happened to phone the cops.... me being pissed out of my tree and with a ganja in me hand happened to be walking pass the front door when there was a knock on the door.... I opened it and there were 2 cops at the door.... I invited them into my mate house gave them my spliff and each a beer and told them to join the party.... but coz I was off my head, I didn't realised what I had done until 10 minutes later..... ended up getting the cops pissed out of their head.... funny enough they didn't ask us to turn the music down is why they came in the first place!!!! Also they had prisoners in the back of their landrover!!! 2 hours later another knock on the door.... more cops as the neighbour had phoned the cops again about the noise.... invited them in and partied with them until daybreak.... 2 of the cops couldn't walk, helped the one cop in the driver's seat and told him to go home..... he nearly drove into the gate.... hahahah... oh and my mate's neighbour never saw eye to eye with my mate again!!! Hahaha

[igundwane]

I will tell you of the time I got arrested at Hwange Safari Lodge, 5mins before I was due to do a game drive and in front of a very large crowd of tourist :)

But now I have work to do ;)

[boards]

got arrested at the cricket. got blocked from the cricket at sports club (cos we had the braai and coolerbox - big no no's after the ICC world cup in rsa) got stopped by the army from playing cricket at sports club. got arrested in mt darwin for trying to bribe the cops. made my way through road blocks smashed - and then find out from the same cops the next night what id done! rear ended a govt office secretary outside the helensvale cop shop - sober as a judge and got harrassed there! got pulled into a CID office in south sudan for not having a visa - when they saw my zim passport they were ecstatic cos of Bob and let us go!

[Doro]

I was in a bakkie with a bunch of guys going from Marondera club to Rusape club at about 11 pm all pissed out of our tree..... when we saw a blue light flashing in the distance.... turned out it was a road block but there weren't any cops around so one of us got out and grabbed the blue light and put it in the back.... we go to the party but we couldn't figure out on how to turn the bloody thing off so we took it into the party and partied with it all night..... on our way back to Marondera we got stopped at the same roadblock we stole the blue light from and the 4 of us passed out in the back with one of us hugging the flashing blue light as we couldn't turn it off..... the cops asked us if they could please have their light back!!!! Hahahaha

[Tricky Nicky]

Eish, for Shuwa Doro - your liver and your kidneys are GOING to divorce you very soon chap! :smiley36:

[Doro]

Eish, for Shuwa Doro - your liver and your kidneys are GOING to divorce you very soon chap! :smiley36:
Need to keep them pickled.... if I stop drinking then they will run away!!!

[igundwane]

Do you Wee a lot ?

[Doro]

Do you Wee a lot ?
No I don't....

[yarrumsg]

my run in's with the cops...

I get stopped coming back from Ruwa driving my bakkie with a canopy to get asked " can you open your boot"

i say to him bru u can see there is nothing in the back apart from a mat. He says no u must open the boot i am checking for weeeaapooons of mass distruction (yea i look like an terrorist) i say to the guy i can't afford sudza where am i going to get the money to buy such a device... he laughs i drive off.

Old man get stopped , cop asks him to test the headlight hazard lights (then indicators like yea on works but not the other) and then break lights. old man replies yes brakes are on... "eish no baas you must get a ticket" my old man replies for what, "eish you press the breaks and no lights" so my old man replies last i checked the break lights come on at the back of the car an not the front... ho ho ho ho yeess u are right pleas proceed

one of my old mans drivers comes in laughing his head off, he's brought back a full load of tiles, basically coz the company money and this guy is rolling on the floor. Old man is about to deck him, but figures mighta s well ask what is so funny. The guys says a lady cop has asked to test his breaks... breaks on she is trying to push 17 tones of tiles and a 3 tonne truck and trailor guess which one wins... brakes or no brakes...

i get stopped in the pulsar i sued to drive, rusted to poo, i get asked to test the breaks, and when the car doesn't move, i get this car is very rusty it is not safe for you to drive, but it's mechanically sound can i buy it?

heading out towards the lake to see a client out there, doing 170 in a 60k zone, i see out the corner of my eye a bit of yellow fluro, so i hit the brakes i eventually get waved down doing 107 3km/h more and it's the court... 500$ fine which was 50p at the time... thankyou please

rushing into town get stopped on second street extention, again speeding get the question with or without a recipt well yea we all go for the cheaper option... next day exact same spot the Indian guy i work with gets stopped he says hey look i'm late for prayers, which he gets off...

this lightie in his fiat heap of poo decides he wants to drag me, like hello i'm sitting in a diesel carollola u will beat me off the line but i will come back and get you... so off we set, down borrowdale road, next thing i see these 3 cables on the road look up and this cop is in this lightie's lane trying to stop him, but he' hasn't seen him either, so the cop rolls into my lane, and then realises i'm not stopping either rulz in zim just keep going.

Sister's mate in zambia gets stopped at a traffic stop, absolutly smashed out of his bracket, blatently fails the on site pissed test, while they are writing him a ticket some guy also pissed screams up to the traffic stop and almost crashes his car so the cops go and attend to him obviousy going to be a good night. the mate decides lakker, they've not got my license so they don't know who i am jumps in the ride and heads home...

the next day the cops rock up and ask the wife if they can speak with him. he has instructed her her not to lead on he's home, the cops are very persistant and demands to see him they know he is home. so he comes out and goes ok yea busted how did u know it was me, so they asked to see his car... he opens the garage door and there is the cop car lights still flashing on the roof he took the wrong car... doh!

and finally my favourite, the time you weren't meant to be carrying fuel i took the container and put it behind my seat in my hyundai, and cover it up with a towel, approach a road block get out and the guy asks to see my boot, so i'm yea cool no worries, i get out and he tells me it's ok to proceed, he's not even looked at the boot but i'm not fussed. i guess he figures if i have nothing to hide i'm not going to open it simple.

come back on the monday after speading the weekend in Banket, and same road block same guy, the fule is now in my tank and the container is empty in the boot, and i start to think mmm oh well i can't get bust for an empty container, out i get after he asks to see my boot again. and again he says i can go. So i ask him what exactly he is checking for to which he smiles and says

"i've been asked to check everyones boots, but as you don't have any shoes on at all u can go!"