The Running Thread

[Nyala]

Lets see how far we can run with this thread.....please feel free to note any distractions along the way...


Take your marks....


Get set......


GO!!!!


and I'm off....running........

[Nyala]

....oh no...distraction...looks like a peachy botty...mustn't look...keep running.....

[Nyala]

....and I'm still running all by myself.....noone out there want to take the batton so I can catch my breath?

[joemac]

I have no idea what is going on, but will happily take the baton........

[Nyala]

Thanks Joe....just keep running till someone takes it off you. You can comment on any distractions along the way if you want.

[Cez]

lol i think there are far too many distractions along the way.... might grind to a halt far far too many times :D

[dallas]

Joe I will take it from you......crap I dropped it....oh no I kicked it..............shit this thing is slippery..........ok got it..............running, (trotting is more like it..)running oh look there is Mugabe.....shit I missed his head....now I have to go find it in that bush......hang on......yup got it......running again.......................ok seriously someone take over think I am going to faint....huff puff pant pant

[Cez]

damn dall you sure dont do things in half measures now do you!! pity you missed lol

[Chick]

*pant* running *gasp* hopping *gulp* skipping *faint*

[Edmonsta]

Ah, bugger, this is terrible timing since I just got back from a run...


*pant* *snort* *wheeze*

Okay, that's far enough, here, catch!

[Angelshark]

Got it,..... wow check out sams hooters................ Nyalas legs.............i'm tired...........here you take it

[zimajays]

WTF - AS stop throwing things at me! Bugger am I supposed to run, where?? and how far.

/me comes to a grinding holt

HAY come on now - where was that naked bum that was runnning infont of me?????

[Nyala]

It's cleared off over the hill....no worries, I'll catch up with it.

*puff....puff....pant....gotta give up smoking...wheeze

[Chick]

/me grabs baton from Nyala in a smooth move, misses her step, falls over and lands on the baton - it disappears..... 'help help help... actually, never mind.'

/me minces off with a big smile on her face. 'Baton, what baton?'

[dallas]

I aint even gonna go there...Nyala where is the back up Baton.....Thanks.....Running running running running running....cough cough choke wheez wheez...Wheres.........my.......................as thma.................Pump....someone else catch

[Nyala]

Got it Dal, smooth handover there, nice!!....run, run, run as fast as you can, you'll never catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!!.....gosh this batons heaver than the last one....wonder if it secretly contains the pictures of the fallen madona with the big boobies?......puff.....puff......

[zimajays]

are we sure this is the spare baton??? ewwwwww...

/me drops the baton, gets out her inspector gadget gadget and does a CSI investigation on it.....

"Mac I have human stuff on it" (ok so I dunno what the techinal term for stuff is...)

[Peas]

*takes the baton and runs for her life* try catch me suckers!!

[Sam Edwards]

Peas when you had enough I am trying to catch up with you...huff.... puff.... cant Breath amyone got new lungs for me.

[Nyala]

Here's my back-up oxysock, Sam, breathe deeply. Okay now?.... just keep breathing .... good, you're doing well.....

* Nyala grabs the baton and rushes off with renewed energy leaving Sam to her fate with the oxysock.

I wonder what happened to the boys? Oh well, proves girls are generally fitter and have more stamina than boys......

[boards]

why would we try and take the baton when we can jog behind and watch behinds?? these distractions are ahead of us for a reason!!!!

[Peas]

or in front and watch the breasticals :D

[Sam Edwards]

Oxysock worked wonders thanks Nyala, by the way girls and guys where are we running to we doing the long way down?? see who gets to zim then Cape Town? Or we just running there and back to see how far it is?

[Sam Edwards]

I think you hit the nail on the head, boys in front watching boob's PMSL

[Nyala]

We're doing a Cape to Cairo run. We started at the top of table mountain and are now halfway down.

[Sam Edwards]

In that case give me the batton, I will roll down, quicker just steer me past the sheer drops'
Sam grab's batton, drops and lets the rolling begin.

[Nyala]

Sam, Sam, Sam...whose going to catch it at the bottom?....Run, Sam, Run.

[Sam Edwards]

Help....rolling out of control, (When I get to the bottom in a crumpled heap who ever gets there first can start running again.)

[Nyala]

There she goes, in a display of acrobatic excellence, back-flipping all the way down. You go, girl, we're right behind you.

[boards]

damn right we are right behind you in the cable car!!

[Sam Edwards]

Sam is thinking this is a bad idea but cant stop, No one told me this hill was quite so big.....Sea Sick....HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sam Edwards]

Just past Boards and Nyala chilling in cable car....They got the better plan, LOL

[Chick]

I'm rolling behind you, but with this baton stuck where the sun don't shine, it's a bumpy ride.

roll, clunk, roll clunk, roll, clunk, roll, clunk - ouch it hurts.

[Nyala]

Cough, Chick, you might be able to dislodge it.

[dallas]

I aint touching that when its been where the sun dont shine!!

[Nyala]

Just checking in on the latest runner....looks like we're heading toward the Karoo now....I see sheep and it's dry and hot as hell.

[Sam Edwards]

Got the battern from chick, (cleaned it) and am running through the Karoo, someone take the battern from me I is knackered........

[dallas]

Gotcha sam!!! oh my days it is hot out here in the sun, puff pant pant, Water water water.....Just keep running , just keep running, just keep running

[Nyala]

I'm coming up right behind you, Dal......I'll take it and let you rest.....still catching up....nearly there....okay, got it....phew!!!

OMW, is that an oasis I see??? Complete with palm trees and a waterslide into the waterhole. Gosh, there are even camels and silken tents. Wonders who's set up that is?

[Dante]

Good Afternoon Ladies, welcome to my oasis. Please: make yourselves comfortable and feel free to shower or swim. Your wish is my command.
But sadly, I cannot join in with your race, so please excuse me whilst I visit my hareem.

[dallas]

Nyala you stop and I will carry on we still got a long way to go.......just keep running .......keep your eyes on the horizon.........

[Chick]

*gasp, pant, buckle* you girls go without me, I am staying here at Dante's oasis for a while.

If there's a Dr. in the house he can look at the damage done by the baton.

[Dante]

You are most welcome to stay Chick. We have a Dr. at your disposal.

[dallas]

Ever so Posh!!! Do you have any more along the way could do with some pampering when someone takes the baton from me Puff Puff!!

[Dante]

Would you like the portable sauna and jacuzzi to run alongside you?

[dallas]

oh my word this sounds like a slice of heaven CAN I PLEASE!!!!!!

[Dante]

Your wish is my command.

[Nyala]

Can I have a sexy hunk of a man to gently massage my feet?...they're so sore, please?

[dallas]

Come on peeps someone tak over from me I am dying to jump in my jacuzzi!!!Puff pant sweat sweat

[Nyala]

I'd love to take over, Dal, but I'm waiting for my sexy man to massage my tooties.

[Chick]

I can't take over cause I am lying face down on the Dr.'s table having my injury sewn up..

[Sam Edwards]

ok dallas hand the batton to me, you jump in the jacuzzi, as it is running along side I will jump in with you or is that cheating???

[dallas]

if you arent sweating it is cheating I am afraid!!! but just give me 10 mins then I will take over again as it looks like chick and nyala are nowhere to be seen..........

[Sam Edwards]

ok no problem puff, pant, grunt, groan

[Chick]

*ouch* these stiches hurt *ouch* with every step *ouch* it seems I might have to hang around the oasis for a while till I heal *ouch*

[Sam Edwards]

Chick I know that your crafty plan is just to join Dante's Hareem, Had a taste of the good life and now you dont want to leave, HUH?????

[dallas]

Right time to get out of this jacuzzi, where is my towel, oh right running shoes, lets get this party started, thanks Sam here I go, running running running running..........

[Dante]

I'd love to take over, Dal, but I'm waiting for my sexy man to massage my tooties.

I will have a man sent to your room with massage oils.

[Chick]

Chick I know that your crafty plan is just to join Dante's Hareem, Had a taste of the good life and now you dont want to leave, HUH?????

Harsh. I got stitches that pull with every step. It hurts. The Dr. said I have to rest for 10 days and then he will take the stitches out... what can a girl do?

[Sam Edwards]

Ok I will let you off just this once on the condition that you send us as many perks as possible, (Sam just jumping in Jacuzzi) phew this is the life

[dallas]

Im still running!

[Nyala]

I'll grab it from you while I wait for the sexy man with massage oils......*Nyala drifts off into dreamland*...Oh sorry, hand it over, you take a break.

[sally]

im here and i am running my behide off!!

[Nyala]

Run, Sal, the rewards are awesome....jaccuzzi, massages.....this is the life....Have a look at who Dante sent to massage my feet........

8709

[Sam Edwards]

Thats one of the dudes from the french rugby team, calander my my my there are some fine butts on that LOL

[Chick]

*swish splash* just taking a mid morning swim in the pool, wondering how you girls are getting along.

I saw Nyala walk into the massage room yesterday, with a handsome, half dressed massage master following her with fluffy white towels. I have not seen her come out, so I hope she is ok.

[Nyala]

Fine, Chick....just fine

*Nyala can't wipe the grin off her face*

[sally]

eish, my legs and body are sore!!! still running, tell me when i can have a break!!

[Nyala]

Okay Sal, I'll take over from you. You have a break.

Running.....running........

[dallas]

WOW is all I can say WOW that dudes hands are amazing!!!!! *dal goes back for round two with the massage master*

[sally]

Mmmmmm loving this!!

[dallas]

right that was a quickie......right nyala slow down lovie cant catch up with you........oops .....shit I just tripped, oh bollocks, hang on, okay ow ow right back into the swing of things.........gotcha nyala, right go to door number4 his name is Diego he is hot!!!!! bye.. running running

[sally]

hahahaha you ok, you hurt yourself?

right, back to the running

[dallas]

*psst Sal you have to take the baton before running hun, its like a game of tag angel!*

Dal passes the baton to sal as my foot is killing me.....hmmm is door number 4 open yet????

[sally]

oh right, thanks hun off i go now

[dallas]

once I get my ankel strapped up I will help you out if you get tired hun!!

[sally]

thanks hun, im ok for now so you just relax now

[dallas]

*MMMMMMM Diego you fine thing!!!MMMMMMMMMMM, OUCH ok gently*

[Sam Edwards]

Sam jumps out the Jacuzzi to go find all the action with hunks, would hate to miss it...........in confusion runs into half open door and is out cold on floor,

[Chick]

*knock Knock* Oi Dallas, don't wear Diego out there's a queue out here.

[dallas]

Wait your turn Chick, nearly done just another 10mins, is there anyone who can find out if Sam is ok I heard that thump einar!!!

[Chick]

Sam jumps out the Jacuzzi to go find all the action with hunks, would hate to miss it...........in confusion runs into half open door and is out cold on floor,

Flippen' heck went to the loo and fell over Sam lying out cold on the floor...

*fans Sam* and shouts for help - *HELP*

[Sam Edwards]

Sam slowly coming round++++ Eish what happend??

[Nyala]

Sam slowly coming round++++ Eish what happend??


Oh no, you okay?.....Do you want Diego's brother? His names Jose and he's a paramedic - looks to me like you'll need some mouth-to mouth.

[Cez]

bwahahaha you gals is just too funny!!!

[dallas]

Pick me Pick me im after sam for the paramedic!!!(think my heart stopped)

[Cez]

hahaha want me to call an ambulance?!!

[dallas]

Dont fret Cez you should see the medic that dante has working for him.....proper eye candy!!! just waiting my turn!!

[Cez]

hahaha cool... hope you get some great tlc

[dallas]

look I know this isnt procedure but I can get you in if you want??????

[Cez]

really?!! ooo yes please!

[dallas]

ok well you go first and I am just going to find out who is running with the baton cause I think it is time I took over as chick is still pretending to have something wrong so whe is in with the other sexy doc!!!! (lucky chick)

[Cez]

aww thanx dall i need a lot of tlc... i'll take over the running as soon as i get my batteries recharged.. then there'll be no stopping me :)

[dallas]

ok I think I hear sam coming round, Jose jose Cez is next!!!!

[Cez]

aww shucks... thanx dall!! you are one in a trillion!

[Nyala]

Sorry girls, I have an incurable case os schizotrichia, I need medical attention NOW!!!!

*Nyala pushes and shoves her way to the front of the queue*

[Dante]

I trust you ladies are comfortable and enjoying the pleasures of the oasis

[Sam Edwards]

OHHHHHHH bring that paramedic over here, Just spied the Paramedic bent over cez his arse would do well on zj's wall, cez can we share him????

[Sam Edwards]

I trust you ladies are comfortable and enjoying the pleasures of the oasis
Its the best Dante.....you may never get rid of us we will be your new hareem

[sally]

hey peeps, i am still running!!

[Sam Edwards]

Sally Im dazed and amazed by the paramedic but I will take over just steer me in the right direction if I go wrong

[sally]

thanks hun, i just need a five min break and then i am ready to take over again!!
Now where is the foot massager??

[Sam Edwards]

never mind the foot massager go find the paramedic ,,,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmm so yummy

[sally]

Really????? but i think my man is much better? cant i just perve him instead??

[Sam Edwards]

S**t keep forgetting you got that hunk, you perve away. LOL

[Dante]

Its the best Dante.....you may never get rid of us we will be your new hareem

Only virgins are admitted into the Haareem. Everyone is welcome at the Oasis, but the inner sanctum is via auditions only. Any takers? We have a female doctor waiting to inspect - :smiley2:

[sally]

im still a virgin!! no sex before marriage hehehehehahahahahaha

[Nyala]

Okay, I've had my massage, the paramedic checked me out and I'm good to go....so who's got the baton?

*Nyala performs a few star jumps and back flips to warm up the muscles.

[Chick]

im still a virgin!! no sex before marriage hehehehehahahahahaha

Best to get into the queue for the Hareem Sally. Dr. Icantell Pinoccio awaits you.

[sally]

hahahaha, but is he the ONE?

[dallas]

Nyala I think sal has it!!!!!

[sally]

ooops sorry nyala, here take it!!

[Chick]

Ok, my stitches have been removed. Done the massage, done the steam room, done the swimming pool, done the gym. Tried to do the Dr. but he came over all professional (fffft).... so I guess I am good to run.

*Pass the baton*

[dallas]

go chick go chick!! glad to have you back fit and flourishing!!!

[sally]

bugger i have done something to my butt!! owwwwww hurts so bad

[Chick]

/me takes the baton from Sally and sends her back to the Dr. at the oasis to check her butt.

jogging along, watching the camels and sand blowing off the top of the dunes.

[kimberley]

kim just does not know what to put

[Chick]

/me passes Kimberley and nods in her direction, leaving her to quietly contemplate her next comment.

Dunes, dunes, dunes, so tired of running up and down dunes. I just hate it when I get sand in my shoes.

/me sits down, takes off her shoes and tips out the sand. /me calls out :- "Is anybody out there?"

[dallas]

bladdy hell chick you move fast.....been trying to catch since dune45.....right pass the baton and I will take over!!!! does anyone know where we are????

[Chick]

I think we are 5 dunes south and 64 dunes north of the oasis.

[Cez]

wow you guys have gone far too far for me... my legs is brokeded!!

[dallas]

Cez suck it up!!! come on you can do it!!

[Chick]

/me pretends to get lost, hands the baton to Cez and Dallas and slowly jogs back to the oasis.

over the dune, across the dune, down the dune, over the dune, across the dune, down the dune.... e t c

[Dante]

Hope you make it back to the Oasis in time for the big braai Chick

[dallas]

oh my days Braai......cez its all yours!!!* Dallas Sprints back as quick as she can and then hitch hikes the rest of the way back!!!!

[Cez]

pmsl cez is laughing soooo much that she collapses and requires rescuing!!!

[Chick]

up the dune, down the dune..... *sniff sniff sniff* she smells food cooking on the braai and begins to run.....

[sally]

someone say braai?? i am so there!!

[dallas]

hey guys I have a savanah on ice if you like...by the way does anyone know how far cez has gotten??

[Chick]

Send out the search plane, Cez is lost

[Nyala]

Hey Girls, I see a very low lying cloud on the horizon - pack up the oasis and lets go....I think it may be Mosi-oa-Tunya.

*Nyala is spurred on by visions of sundowners in a hareem tent beside the mighy Zambezi River.

[sally]

right i have packed up almost everything, lets go

[Chick]

/me runs into the oasis and finds everybody packing, the camels loaded and horses await the runners.

[Dante]

Is everybody ready to move on - I have sent the kitchen tent and chefs ahead to make base camp on the Zambezi. The braai awaits your arrival.

[Cez]

hhheeellllp someone hellpp.... my brokeded leg is killing me!! i'm lying here dying and no one cares *sob*

[joemac]

Walk it off

[Dante]

hhheeellllp someone hellpp.... my brokeded leg is killing me!! i'm lying here dying and no one cares *sob*

Doctor's on the way, fire up a flare so we can find you. Do you require mouth to mouth resusitation?

[Cez]

Doctor's on the way, fire up a flare so we can find you. Do you require mouth to mouth resusitation?

i've run outta flares... you guys have been ignoring them :smiley19:
doctor would be great... i'll only require mouth to mouth if he's damn good looking :whistling:

as for WTMJ's comment..... i'm just gonna ignore you :smiley17:

[Dante]

Just groan loudly and fart, the sniffer dogs are out searching.

(This is a trick we used in the army to locate lost soldiers)

[Cez]

ladies do not fart!!!!!

as for the groaning... are you guys deaf?? :D

[sally]

right chick i am here!! i will give you a piggyback ride!! hop on!!

[dallas]

Hey hey...dont leave without me...was chewing on some boerie!!!!! Damn where is everyone????

[Chick]

Sally is giving me a piggy back ride and we are looking for Cez

[Cez]

i'm over here!! can you see me.... over the dune, down the dune and round the corner :D

[Nyala]

Cez, help is on the way....sniffer dogs, doctor, meds..it's all coming, I even see a chopper in the distant sky. Would you like me to keep some boerie for you?

*Nyala jogs off toward the smell of braaied meat wafting over the dunes.

[Cez]

awww thanx nyala you are a star :) i'd love some boerie.... once i've been doctored :D

[sally]

right i am still carrying Chick, where is everybody, think i might be lost!!

[Nyala]

Follow the smell of the braai, Sal. Dante has it all laid out for us.......yum-my!!

[sally]

right got it, hry chick not so tight around the neck i cant breath, thats better thanks oooooh shit dont cover my eyes cant see, right ok, where is the smell mmmmmmmm, ok got it.....lets go!!!

[sally]

please can i have a bloody mary when i get there

[Nyala]

As many as you want, hun.

*Nyala languishes on a deck chair with an ice cold Castle, beads of condensation gently rolling down the bottle and one of Dantes thoughtfully supplied attendants massaging her feet*

Ahhhhhhh........wonderful!!! Sal, I got your drink and one for Chick, Cez, your boerie is ready...smells so nice - hot and spicy.

[Chick]

/me digs her heels into Sally's thighs and shouts, *faster faster faster* the smell of Boerewors is driving me nuts.

As we turn the corner we see the smoke from the braai, the spray from the falls and hear the thunder of the river - almost there.

[dallas]

right I see it now where are you guys hiding...share the boerie!!!!

[sally]

im running im running!!! almost there

[Chick]

/me fearful for Sally, who's now panting and redfaced, jumps of her back and thanks Sally for the lift.

[Chidakwa]

well Chick, l certainly hope you organised the borewors for Sally after all the hard intense punishment you put her through..

[dallas]

ok guys who has the baton??? own up now!!!! oohh I smell braai!!! the baton can wait!!!!

[Chick]

Oasis Braai



Menu


~~~~



Sheep Eye Kebab


Lamb Testicle Kebab


Lamb scrotum stuffed with savoury rice


Breaded Brain



~~~~



Lamb on a spit


Offal Burgers


Whole Sheep Head


Curried Lamb Tongue


Medley of Sweet Meats



~~~~


Dates and Figs


Sweet Rolls


Ice Cream

[dallas]

I guess I am having icecream then!!!

[sally]

i will have lamb on the spit and a bit of all the deserts!!

[Nyala]

Hmmmm, interesting menu, mouth-watering, but I'm holding out for the boerewors rolls.

[Chick]

Hmmmm, interesting menu, mouth-watering, but I'm holding out for the boerewors rolls.

Well seen as the chef and foods came all the way from the oasis it's bound to have a arabic feel to the menu. Go on, have an adventure and try some sheeps eye.

[Nyala]

Or maybe a testicle or two deep fried in sesame oil and topped with wild honey.

[dallas]

oohh now that could be nice!!!

[Cez]

now that i have finally been rescued... well sorta... i had to crawl my way to you gals... and checks i still have the baton!! can i eat now?? please??!!

[Nyala]

Awww, Cez, you're a trooper!!! What would you like, hun? I still have a stukkie vors for you, would you like a cold JC Le Roux to go with it?

[Cez]

ooooo thats sounds delightful.... thanx sweetie... you are a star!!

[sally]

sommeone said JC???? memememememe i want some

[Nyala]

I'm sure theres enough to go around, Sal...or we could hide behind that rock over there and get blotto by ourselves....

[dallas]

tut tut you two trying to sneak off with the bubbly without me......not going to happen but shhhhh lets not let anyof the others......oh to hell with it....Hey guys Nyala has the JC and there is plenty to go round!!!!!!!

[Nyala]

The cases are on ice and Dante assures me he can procure more should we require. He's such a gent!!

[dallas]

me and my big mouth we could have been blotto on all that!!(could have sold some on the black market too!!!)

[Cez]

hahahahaha well if dante is as good as he says, me thinks there wont be a problem and we'll all be completely blotto!!

[dallas]

yup but can you imagine what we can sell a bottle for on the zimbabwean Ebay.....maybe a farm??

[Cez]

well very true... mabye we can sell one or two bottles :D

[dallas]

shhhhh dont tell dante he might stop supplying!!

[Cez]

ooops ok no worries :p

[Chick]

Them sheeps eyes are delicious, do we have to run back to the oasis now?

[jiggs]

yeas that is where they are serving the Coffee in Camels Scrotems

[Chick]

I'd drink coffee out of anything, even vellies.

/me loads up her backpack with boerewors rolls, t-bone steak and coke and sets off running back to the oasis

[jiggs]

Coffee makes your eyes like dogs balls (see above avatar).

[Nyala]

Ahh well...lets go girls

Nyala stumbles to her feet giggling uncontrollably at the sight of Sally, Dal and Cez trying to stand after drinking copious amounts of JC Le Roux under the blazing African sun

....ooowwww...I peed a bit....

[Chick]

....ooowwww...I peed a bit....

/me reaches into her backpack and digs out a spare pair of knickers and chucks them over to Nyala....

[Nyala]

Thanks Chick, I wasn't looking forward to the rash. ;)