Men are like.....

[chantillylace]

Looking forward to the comebacks!!!! :smiley36: :smiley36: :smiley36:

1. Men are like ......Laxatives ..... They irritate the sh*t out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ...Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like .Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .......Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .......Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ..... Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

[FerrariSucks]

Women Are Like...the stock market.They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

Women Are Like...computers.They take too long to warm up and a better model always comes along once you've already got one.

Women Are Like...Saran Wrap. Useful but clingy.

Women Are Like...horses. Fun to pet and ride but a pain to feed and clean up after.

Women Are Like...parking meters. If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

Women Are Like...fax machines. Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

Women Are Like...political campaign contributors. If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

Women Are Like...refrigerators. They're always cold and never seem to have a beer when you need one.

Women Are Like...blue jeans. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

Women Are Like...country western songs. They're annoying, they all sound alike, but if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

[Poison]

Great come backs.:smiley32: :smiley32: :smiley36: :smiley36:

[Shayne]

Ha ha, great stuff

[biffon]

nice...
heres a good chauvanistic joke i found

Two men and a woman were trying out for the FBI.
The testing agent approached the three recruits with a gun. He pointed to a door and said, "We have all your spouses in that room over there. For you to make it into the FBI, you must each take this gun and shoot your partner."
The first man immediately retorted "you cant make me do that!! I can't shoot my wife. I love her!" he walked out in disgust!
The second man took the gun, walked boldly into the room, and shut the door behind him. The others again listened for gunshots, but again heard only silence. The man came out, bawling, and said, "I can't shoot my wife! She cooks so well, and I love her so much!"
The woman said, "Gimme the danged gun." she snatched the weapon, and marched in the room. It took no time at all to hear: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
That was followed by all sorts of banging noises, screams, and then finally cold silence.
The woman emerged from the room, sweating profusely and covered in blood, and gasped, "You didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! So I had to beat him to death with a chair."

[RustyBear]

Lmfao.