Huwieb
10-07-2008, 07:48 PM
I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my d*ck' is not an acceptable answer.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30
seconds
to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you c*nt !'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are women like clouds? Eventually they f **k off then its a really
nice
day
------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a
light
on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat
Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to
him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b*tch.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood
rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I
am
in a bad mood, it leaves a f ** king big red mark on her forehead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to
check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zebo, a half blind five year old south African orphan, has to ride 7
miles
a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and
no
brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the
video,
it's f **king hilarious....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating
shuttlecocks.
Bad minton!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an
angel'.
The reply from his friend...... 'You're so fcuking lucky... Mine's still
alive...'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'Fcuk off, you won't bring it back.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over
10
minutes.
'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My wife's an epileptic'
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my d*ck' is not an acceptable answer.
------------------------------------------------------------------
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30
seconds
to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you c*nt !'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are women like clouds? Eventually they f **k off then its a really
nice
day
------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a
light
on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a KitKat
Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to
him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat b*tch.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood
rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I
am
in a bad mood, it leaves a f ** king big red mark on her forehead.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to
check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zebo, a half blind five year old south African orphan, has to ride 7
miles
a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and
no
brakes. Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the
video,
it's f **king hilarious....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating
shuttlecocks.
Bad minton!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an
angel'.
The reply from his friend...... 'You're so fcuking lucky... Mine's still
alive...'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'Fcuk off, you won't bring it back.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over
10
minutes.
'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My wife's an epileptic'