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Mrs. Wildthing
10-09-2009, 12:55 PM
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?


Why is a boxing ring square?


Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?


Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?


Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?


Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?


Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"?


Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?


You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?


Why do you need a driver's license to buy booze when you can't drink and drive?


Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?


Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?



If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?


If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?


If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?


Do PG Tips employees take coffee breaks?


What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
Azieko N'daba
10-09-2009, 01:21 PM
The second one is asking for way too much - Now I am going into hiding
pennymac
10-12-2009, 08:57 AM
some new ones there!
What do they put for hair colour of bald people? That's a good question.
boards
10-12-2009, 11:41 AM
Try this:

http://www.google.co.uk/
Tricky Nicky
10-16-2009, 11:49 AM
That is a good question! :smiley36:
pennymac
10-19-2009, 05:09 AM
boards are you being cheeky??
I don't want to look it up, I want you to tell us what it says in your passport :)
boards
10-19-2009, 05:49 AM
boards are you being cheeky??
I don't want to look it up, I want you to tell us what it says in your passport :)

my passport (zim passport), both of them.... does not have hair colour, eye colour, height etc.... just a picture of a dangerously good looking gentleman and my finger print.

i had all the int' in my first passport but it seems those are a thing of the past
pennymac
10-19-2009, 05:59 AM
hahaha! Now that you mention it, I'm not sure if mine has that info either.
I have a nice microchip that has everything about me in it, I think it even says what I eat for breakfast!
barto11
10-19-2009, 06:13 AM
So where's Skizziks to give us the answers?
gertrude
10-19-2009, 09:49 AM
.... just a picture of a dangerously good looking gentleman and my finger print.



So how did you manage to get someone else to sit for the picture, boards? :smiley36:
Skizziks Willit
10-19-2009, 11:33 AM
So where's Skizziks to give us the answers?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? The darkening of the skin is actually dead pigment cells. Hair doesn’t contain those.

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Fuctifino

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? It does if you leave it long enough.

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Because there’s no such thing as a genuine psychic. They’re all conmen and shysters!

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Because of the amount of letters in it.

Why is a boxing ring square? Because it contains the word box which is square.

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? It sticks to your lips, it doesn’t stick them together, silly!

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? So that the lid doesn’t slide off when the coffin is being carried, thus exposing Aunt Mildred and frightening the congregation.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Because it has dual-meaning (and it’s spelled practise, with an S, in the UK)

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? No, rain also falls I think you’ll find. A raindrop, on the other hand, is the noun, not the verb for it.

Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"? The start is the start of a menu, hence if I want to start another programme I click start.

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? To remove distractions from your immediate environment, which helps you concentrate on the job at hand. Also you may have to ask someone for directions and it helps to not have a blaring radio going.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? My lemon juice is made with real lemons – I suggest you upgrade your brand.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? See practice question.

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Because it denotes the seconds… duuuuh!!

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Because everyone is in a rush to get home.

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? It just is – stop being silly!

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? There is. I call mine Geoffrey and Jeffrey.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? It is isn’t light enough or aerodynaimic enough to be made in vast quantities.

Why do you need a driver's license to buy booze when you can't drink and drive? Due to licensing laws, depending on where you are you may need to prove your age with photographic ID. I reckon a driver’s license is the most common form of photo-ID (assuming this question originated in the USA) as not many people carry their passports.

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? There is. It’s delicious.

Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets? To comply with workplace health and safety regulations. The Unions insist on it.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? No.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Why stop there? Why isn’t 12 pronounced onety two? Why isn’t dog pronounced cat?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? Yes, they can be, but I suggested firing them would be quicker.

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? No, that would be the worst PR strategy ever, instilling very little confidence in their clients to have their packages delivered on time. I suggest Federal Express Parcel Services would be a better amalgamation.

Do PG Tips employees take coffee breaks? Yes. The Unions insist on periodic breaks for their members.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Like that Loreal stuff? If you put that on a driver’s license it would render it illegible.
licorice
10-19-2009, 11:52 AM
hahahahaahaah
Azieko N'daba
10-19-2009, 01:13 PM
Well done SW
Exzim
10-20-2009, 02:29 AM
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Fuctifino




This question is worded exactly the same as the one that appears in the trivia book, Imponderables. Since the book answers it in three pages, here is the summary. Two plastic surgeons, whose livelihoods depend upon knowing what the effects of opening the mouth are on the eyes, say that opening the mouth tightens muscles and puts the skin on the eyelids on a stretch. This makes it easier to apply mascara for pretty much the same reason that men make jaw contractions while shaving their necks.


http://www.mindlesscrap.com/stumpme/09-01.htm
pennymac
10-20-2009, 06:21 AM
Why do we open our mouths when we're feeding babies?
igundwane
10-20-2009, 07:04 AM
Why is it easier to have a dump than it is to have anal ?
Skizziks Willit
10-20-2009, 11:43 AM
Why is it easier to have a dump than it is to have anal ?

Try relaxing more, honey - you'll find it more enjoyable then! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v145/madamski/smilies/gheyfight.gif
Chick
10-20-2009, 12:10 PM
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Because of the amount of letters in it.

snigger
pennymac
10-21-2009, 03:37 AM
I just want to point out that when I was putting my mascara on this morning, I had a look in the mirror...and I don't open my mouth while I'm applying it. Granted I pull funny faces, but my mouth was closed.
Does that mean I'm weird??
joemac
10-21-2009, 04:15 AM
Why do we open our mouths when we're feeding babies?


Babies like to copy adults, especially facial expressions, therefore we open our mouths to encourage the baby to do the same, thus making it easier to feed them.