Speed trap humour

[Howard Neill]

When I was on BSAP Highway Patrol, 7315 Bob Armstrong & I were operating a speed trap, near Gwelo. Bob was working the PETA radar "speed trap machine". I was, further along the road, at the "Stop" end, where the speeding cars were pulled over.

It was on the open road, and the speed limit was 60 MPH, so the cars were already moving quite fast and the speeding cars even more so. If a really fast one was coming, Bob would warn me over the radio "Here comes a humdinger!".

We were in the middle of nowhere. I spied a bush nearby and announced the I was going for a "Pee Break". The bush protected one's modesty but it would have been obvious to any passing motorist as to what was going on.

I had just stared my "bush call" when, Bob announced excitedly on the radio, "Here comes another humdinger." I hurriedly stopped what I was doing and leapt back on to the main road, to stop the speeding car. Silence! Middle of nowhere silence. Not a car in sight.

It was Bob's idea of a joke. I could have murdered him! :-)

Bob - I still hate you for that! :smiley36:

[ozwheels]

Serves you right, preying on the por unsuspecting public!!!

[Howard Neill]

No only that, this was over Easter. Our visit warranted a write up in the local newspaper. They faithfully reported how many speeding tickets, how many cars taken off the road, etc. OC Midlands Province was "Pig Bailey". He was very much into road safety.

[sally]

hahahaha thats funny, shame howard!! i thought it hurt guys to stop peeing mid way??

[Howard Neill]

hahahaha thats funny, shame howard!! i thought it hurt guys to stop peeing mid way??

..... and that is why I "hate" Bob until this day. :smiley2:
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[sally]

hehehehehe.

[licorice]

hahahahahaha, oh dear, I shouldnt laugh...... but...... :smiley36::smiley36::smiley36::smiley36::smiley36: :smiley36::smiley36:

[Chick]

Serves you right, preying on the por unsuspecting public!!!


init

[dallas]

too funny!!

[Mafuta beeftex]

Ok - so it was a bit of a piss take. Or was it?

Mid flow interruptus is not nice - especially if you lack appropriate self control. Bwahahahahaha! Did you write yourself a speeding ticket for jumping out of the bushes that quickly?

[pennymac]

I would have let the car go by!

[Tricky Nicky]

Me too - such dedication Howard, I am impressed.

[Howard Neill]

If I let the car go by, I would have had to explain why it was not stopped, when we eventually returned to Bulawayo at the end of the patrol.

Bob would have logged the make, registration number, speed, etc. We had a similar log at our end of "the trap".

Both logs were admissible as evidence in court:-

"Yes, Your Worship, that is where I ......" :smiley9:

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[pennymac]

Ah Howie, I know I shouldn't laugh, but the image is pretty funny!

[Exzim]

This weekend I got 3 Speeding fines

First was outside Norton, second was 20Km outside Bulawayo and the third was on the way back to Harare outside Dodhill Nursery (chegutu)

Total Cost $40
First fine - blagged my way out of it
Second - No chance .. he was a cheeky matebele
Third- I was tired so just paid.

All of them deleted the record of the speed before i could see it.

[pennymac]

I think I am protected by a speed angel. I've been through two speedtraps near work going above the limit both times, and haven't had a ticket yet. Our cops have lots of nasty little tricks to try and catch you. One includes having their bonnet up, so it looks like they're just a broken down car, and they "shoot" you from behind the bonnet!

[Howard Neill]

I never received a speeding ticket until they started using those unmanned cameras.

[boards]

I never received a speeding ticket until they started using those unmanned cameras.

Howard that un-manned camera may have been your solution to your call by nature that sparked this thread!

[Howard Neill]

Howard that un-manned camera may have been your solution to your call by nature that sparked this thread!

You can say that again, Boards. :smiley2:

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[Howard Neill]

When I was on BSAP Highway Patrol, 7315 Bob Armstrong & I were operating a speed trap, near Gwelo. Bob was working the PETA radar "speed trap machine". I was, further along the road, at the "Stop" end, where the speeding cars were pulled over.

It was on the open road, and the speed limit was 60 MPH, so the cars were already moving quite fast and the speeding cars even more so. If a really fast one was coming, Bob would warn me over the radio "Here comes a humdinger!".

We were in the middle of nowhere. I spied a bush nearby and announced the I was going for a "Pee Break". The bush protected one's modesty but it would have been obvious to any passing motorist as to what was going on.

I had just stared my "bush call" when, Bob announced excitedly on the radio, "Here comes another humdinger." I hurriedly stopped what I was doing and leapt back on to the main road, to stop the speeding car. Silence! Middle of nowhere silence. Not a car in sight.

It was Bob's idea of a joke. I could have murdered him! :-)

Bob - I still hate you for that! :smiley36:

A couple of days ago, a picture of our small group came into my possession. Bob is the one, crouching at the front. I am on the right, trying to schmooze the OC Traffic.

http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=13392&stc=1&d=1297157672

[Tricky Nicky]

Wow - what wonderful pictures - I am loving those cars! :smiley20:

[Howard Neill]

It was a tough job. ;-)

[Howard Neill]

We didn't take bribes.

[boards]

if you had you would have been retired ages ago!

[Howard Neill]

if you had you would have been retired ages ago!

Yes, Boards, we would have been retired, "By Order", from Police General Headquarters. Then would follow the criminal case.

Ja, boet! :smiley36:

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[zimboykie]

Is that a MKII Jag behind you & were those used as "chase cars" back in the day?

[Steve]

hahahaha thats funny, shame howard!! i thought it hurt guys to stop peeing mid way??

Never ever tried it, so I wouldn't know...:whistling:

[Howard Neill]

Yes, that is the MKII Jag. You could say that they were "chase cars". With only 2 of those cars for the whole of Matabeleland and the Midlands, they were more for "showing the flag". They essentially said, "You can't outrun the police".

We would patrol in them and enforce the traffic laws. The local police weren't keen to do that, for fear of antagonising their local communities.

Let's face it, high speed chases were few and far between. Even if the pursuit vehicle was a Land Rover, the pursuing vehicle could radio ahead to the next town and request the local police to set up a road block.

.

[zimboykie]

What else were used as B-cars then? I recall Peugeot 404s in the mid-late 70s but prior to that l was too young to even know what the police or cars even were all about?

[Howard Neill]

The Jags were used, out of town, for "Highway Patrol". In those days, the urban B Cars were Austin Westminsters. They were good urban patrol vehicles. http://www.rhodesianforces.org/BSAPvehicles.htm

http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=13394&stc=1&d=1297179714
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[zimboykie]

Looks like an episode of 'Heartbeat' - Rhodesian-style! lol!

[joemac]

http://www.rhodesianforces.org/graphics_bsap/MiniMokeWalker.jpg

http://www.rhodesianforces.org/BSAPvehicles.htm

[Tricky Nicky]

LOL - Aw a Mini Moke - I loved those they were such good fun.

[Howard Neill]

Those Mini Mokes were all about looks. They looked like a miniature Jeep, but had a normal Mini suspension, with front wheel drive. Being low slung, they bottomed on humps and the FWD would end up spinning on loose up slopes.

Having a low centre of gravity, and independent suspension, they were very good on cornering. As you say, Nicky, loads of fun to drive.

[Tricky Nicky]

Those and Beach Buggies - just loved 'em :smiley20:

[Howard Neill]

Looks like big trouble back at the kraal. :-(

http://www.rhodesianforces.org/graphics_bsap/MiniMokeWalker.jpg

[pennymac]

Lovely photos Howie, thanks for that.

[zimboykie]

http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=13392&stc=1&d=1297157672

A time indeed harking back to the days when men were men & pansies were flowers! (any combs tucked away into those long socks perchance..?)

[Howard Neill]

We considered combs in socks to be uncool.

[zimboykie]

We considered combs in socks to be uncool.

I used to play lawn bowls back in Zim with a lot of old topjes & come time to go back into the clubhouse the amount of combs that appeared from behind knee-length socks was staggering! :smiley36: