legend
06-27-2006, 09:29 PM
Diary of a Dubai Summer
>
> April 31st:
> Just got transferred with work into our new home in Dubai, UAE! Now
> this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm
> balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair
> on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
> it here.
>
> May 13th:
> Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
> air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
> see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
>
> May 30th:
> Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms
> and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
> Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
>
> June 10th:
> The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used
> to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But
> getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
>
> July 15th:
> Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
> Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
> though.
> Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
>
> July 20th:
> I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
> morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died
> and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000
> leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now
> smells like Wiskettes and cat sh*t. I learned my lesson though. No
> more pets in this heat.
>
> July 25th:
> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant **** blow dryer!! And it's hot
> as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman
> charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me he needed to order
> parts.
>
> July 30th:
> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody 2,000,000
> Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
>
> August 4th:
> It's 45 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.
> It cost 2,000 Dirhams and gets the temperature down to 25, but the
> bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid
> repairman. I hate this stupid **** place.
>
> August 8th:
> If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
> **** throttle him. **** heat! By the time I get to work the car's
> radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin **** wet, and I smell
> like baked cat!!
>
> August 9th:
> Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the
> black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my **** arse was on
> fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs
> and my **** arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and
> baked cat.
>
> August 10th:
> The weather report might as well be a **** recording. Hot and sunny.
> Hot and sunny. Hot and **** sunny. It's been too hot to do anything
> for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
> week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn **** place? Water rationing
> will be next, so my 5,000 Dirhams worth of palms just might dry up and
> blow into the **** pool. Even the palms can't live in this **** heat.
>
> August 14th:
> Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 48 today. Now the
> air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and
> said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the 7,000
> Dirham mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the
> stupid f***er.
>
> F**k Dubai! What kind of a sick demented **** idiot would want to live
> here?
>
>
> This one time in base camp did I mention the f**king snow!!!!!
>
>
>
> April 31st:
> Just got transferred with work into our new home in Dubai, UAE! Now
> this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm
> balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair
> on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love
> it here.
>
> May 13th:
> Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
> air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to
> see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
>
> May 30th:
> Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms
> and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
> Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
>
> June 10th:
> The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used
> to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But
> getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
>
> July 15th:
> Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.
> Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
> though.
> Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
>
> July 20th:
> I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
> morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died
> and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000
> leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now
> smells like Wiskettes and cat sh*t. I learned my lesson though. No
> more pets in this heat.
>
> July 25th:
> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant **** blow dryer!! And it's hot
> as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman
> charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me he needed to order
> parts.
>
> July 30th:
> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody 2,000,000
> Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
>
> August 4th:
> It's 45 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.
> It cost 2,000 Dirhams and gets the temperature down to 25, but the
> bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid
> repairman. I hate this stupid **** place.
>
> August 8th:
> If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
> **** throttle him. **** heat! By the time I get to work the car's
> radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin **** wet, and I smell
> like baked cat!!
>
> August 9th:
> Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the
> black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my **** arse was on
> fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs
> and my **** arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and
> baked cat.
>
> August 10th:
> The weather report might as well be a **** recording. Hot and sunny.
> Hot and sunny. Hot and **** sunny. It's been too hot to do anything
> for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next
> week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn **** place? Water rationing
> will be next, so my 5,000 Dirhams worth of palms just might dry up and
> blow into the **** pool. Even the palms can't live in this **** heat.
>
> August 14th:
> Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 48 today. Now the
> air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and
> said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the 7,000
> Dirham mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the
> stupid f***er.
>
> F**k Dubai! What kind of a sick demented **** idiot would want to live
> here?
>
>
> This one time in base camp did I mention the f**king snow!!!!!
>
>