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[zambezilover]

>
>> A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
>> he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
>> some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes
>> and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one
>> of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his
>> mouth, and somehow swallows it whole.
>>
>> The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
>> did???!!!
>>
>> "No, what?"
>>
>> "He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table... WHOLE!!!!"
>>
>> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in
>> sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
>>
>> The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
>> ate and leaves.
>>
>> Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
>> He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
>> While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
>> cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt pulls it out, and
>> eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt,
>> pulls it out, and eats it.
>>
>> The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
>>
>> "No, what?" replied the man.
>>
>> "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them
>> out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
>>
>> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
>> everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that bloody cue ball,
>> he measures everything first.