chantillylace
11-08-2006, 11:42 PM
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer. In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him well." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both attorneys to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
for the answer. In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him well." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both attorneys to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."