Flyzot
11-14-2006, 03:55 PM
I was going to put this into the jokes section, but it is quite true.... I guess......
A brief Introduction to the Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
Also known as:
Bobenomics
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in
Borrowdale, so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman
informs you that
One beer now costs 150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the
printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if
you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were
still quite common a few years ago ) you can sit back and enjoy a
beer while the barman counts out
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem.
Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams
So this little lot weighs in at 45 000 000 grams or 45 000 kgs or 45 Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need
a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we
have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on
its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and
exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer
worry about that one.
There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main
ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high
of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be
greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to
accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change
our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the
Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do
that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting
from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this
calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P S For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these
figures on a daily basis.
A brief Introduction to the Zimbabwe Theory of Quantum Mathematics
Also known as:
Bobenomics
The day is very hot and you are passing the Keg and Sable in
Borrowdale, so naturally you go in for a nice cold beer. The barman
informs you that
One beer now costs 150 000 Zimbabwe dollars
You can pay with three crisp new $50 000 notes, still damp from the
printing press. Or, if you are feeling a bit bloody-minded, and if
you can still source the coins ( remember those things : they were
still quite common a few years ago ) you can sit back and enjoy a
beer while the barman counts out
15 000 000 Zimbabwe one cent coins
But hold it ! We have a problem.
Each Zim one cent coin weighs 3 grams
So this little lot weighs in at 45 000 000 grams or 45 000 kgs or 45 Tonnes
After humping 45 tonnes of coins into the pub you are going to need
a helluva lot more than one beer to cool down. But don`t panic - we
have a plan. Like all brilliant ideas this one relies entirely on
its simplicity.
Plan B : We sell the metal and drink the proceeds
There is a small legal question about smelting coin of the realm and
exporting the resulting brass ingots. However we'll let the buyer
worry about that one.
There doesn't seem to be an international price for brass. Its main
ingredient, copper, has recently been selling for an all-time high
of US $ 5 200 a tonne on the London Metal Exchange, but we won't be
greedy. For a quick sale let's discount it to
U S $ 2 600 a tonne
We are now the proud owners of
U S $ 117 000
But we still can't buy that beer as the Keg is only allowed to
accept Zimbabwe currency. We must resist the temptation to change
our money on the lucrative but illegal black market ( only the
Governor of the Reserve Bank and Cabinet Ministers are allowed to do
that ) . So we change at the prevailing interbank mid rate which is
U S $ 1 : Zim $ 99 201,58
Our heap of U S green-backs now miraculously becomes a mountain of
Zim $ 11 606 584 860
For the uninitiated the billions start at the tenth figure, counting
from the right.
So if the price of beer has not increased while we were doing this
calculation you can now walk back into the Keg and order
77 377 beers !
HAPPY DRINKING
P S For current inflationary reasons it is advisable to review these
figures on a daily basis.