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Greenballs
01-16-2006, 07:17 AM
It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella


Awards."


>The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New


Mexico


>who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's.


That


>case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous,


>successful lawsuits in the United States.


>


>


>Here are this year's winners:


>


>


>7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by


a


>jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who


was


>running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were


>understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving


little


>toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


>


>


>6th Place: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and


medical


>expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.


>Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the


car


>when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.


>


>


>5th Place: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a


house


>he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to


get


>the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was


>malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door


connecting


>the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on


>vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight


>days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry


dog


>food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused


him


>undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.


>


>


>4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500


and


>medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door


>neighbour's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced


yard.


>The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have


>been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had


climbed


>over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a


pellet


>gun.


>


>


>3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of


>Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and


>broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because


>Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an


>argument.


>


>


>2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the


owner


>of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom


>window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred


>while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies


room


>to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and


dental


>expenses.


>


>


>1st Place: This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of


Oklahoma


>City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago


>motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having


>driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and


calmly


>left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.


Not


>surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.


>Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual


>that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000


plus a


>new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis


of


>this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.