10 strange things about your new home- "Australia"

[Aboriginal]

1. The locals say "what a ripper", "That's gold" and Beut mate"
2. The green and gold are not the Springboks!
3. Everyone complains about John Howard but still votes for him!?
4. There's more beers than beds in their Hotels
5. To "share a durry" is not to have group sex but asking for a cigarette
6. A lot of the locals do sound and act like Mick dundee from "Crocodile Dundee" fame
7. We zimbo's can reminisce about "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" re-runs with them! (some can even do the whistle with a blade of grass if you get them pissed enough)
8. "Football" can mean anything from Aussie rules, to League, Union or Soccer. The majority of support goes to the first two codes.
9. They like to "sink piss" just about as much as any zimbabwean
10. You can fly for 6hrs on a boeing 747 and still be in the same country!

feel free to add any of your world experiences!

[biffon]

11. never say "just now" you'll confuse the hell out of everyone
12. don't flirt with the supermarket checkout girls, theyll probably call the cops!
13. "thongs" are not g strings
14. never ask an aussie if he is a Kiwi & vice versa!
15. You can't sit in the back of a ute ( bakke) unless it has a roll cage??
16. Everything is bigger in aus, -> the land, the fish, food servings, the cars, the ego's, the beer & the women.

[TiGeR]

Well, i can tell you a few things about the boytjies in the republic...as much as there are similarities, dont be fooled- they are NOT the same as Zimbos!
You have to be careful what you say- our 'bastardised' afrikaans from 'babwe can get you EFFED up bigtime in SA!...most of the stuff above applies to SA as well-
1. ons bloed is groen!
2 Even the black ouens cuss Mbeki but they still vote ANC
3. The women are more of everything- hotter/ uglier/ skankier/ stupid/ bigger (ok, i generalize!)
4. All the boereseun think they are a mix between Van, Naas, James Dalton, Jan Van Riebeeck & Steve Hofmeyr! (Dont ask!)
5 Everyone insists on driving like monkeys on the highway & then wonders why the road accident toll is so high
6 They think the rest of Africa is completely uneducated & cant understand why i/ Zimbos speak such good Engels..
7 They all cry when the Bokke lose...
8 Klippies en coke is the national drink!
9 They think Vic Falls is part of South Africa!
10 The afrikaans guys from the East rand (Boksburg by the sea!) pimp their rides like the goffle ouens used to in 'babwe!

[Greenballs]

1). There's a massage parlour every 10 meters in town.
2). Most massage parlours are fronts for knock shops.
3). Anyone I tell I'm from Africa is totally confused.
4). It's ok for Thai men to have something on the side... in two forms a). MiaNoi (girlfriend) & b). Gik (Just for a fuck).
5). You can't point at objects with your feet or touch anyone with your feet... its highly degrading and people have been shot for less. If you drop a coin- do not stop it rolling with your foot, by all means... you will stand on the kings head with the lowest part of your body... A NO NO!
6). You can't touch anyone one the head (see above).
7). Do not hoot at drivers... you will be chased around town & probably get fucked up!
8). More than 50% of thai men have had a homosexual relationship. This is becasue more than half of Thai men are transvestities.
9). Katoys (Transvestities) are sometimes more attractive than Thai girls & one could end up with a braai pack during a grope (even more worrying is that most nowadays are having the chop)
10). Over the Thai New Year- Songkran (April) more than 700 people die from road accidents (80% DUI) & it doesn't even make international news!

Apart from all of the above- if you keep to yourself and your circles, its a great place to live!

[Poison]

Thailand sounds like some crazy place man..:smiley22:

[Shayne]

1- Kiwis like shagging sheep
2- Kiwis like shagging sheep
3- Kiwis like shagging sheep

[Poison]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:hahahaha: :hahahaha: :hahahaha:

[sally]

just got back from thai land and bangkok, as soon as you walk out the airport, you get hit by this nasty smell, i still havent figured what it is yet!! I love going to Patpong for the shows and entertainment,had a laugh with one of the new pilots, his face was a picture!!! but most of all i love the thai sport massages!!

[Greenballs]

You like Patpong... al those Lady boys and shit??? That's odd for a girl... but each to their own! BKK smells- mainly due to the smog factor... the north is much cleaner!

[sally]

I like patpong for pure entertainment! I think the smell is also from all that strange food they cook on the side of the roads!!!

[biffon]

like dogs and cats ? :smiley11:

[Greenballs]

They don't do dogs & cats here... that's China! However, there are some strange dishes to be tried for sure... but I enjoy the Thai food. Good thing is that all these little stalls and restaurants on the side of the road... although dingy looking their food is usally fresh. You're more than likely going to get food poisoning from KFC/ Burger King etc than a bowl of noodles from the roadside!! Sally... try it next time ok. They make these pancake things called Rotis... they're great, so try one next time. Just skip the likes of the dried squid!!

[sally]

i have had that, they are not bad hey!! I also like the shrimp and cheese spring roll, and you cant beat the thai red and green curry, yummy!!! there is a food court we go to just around the corner from the hotel, and in pat pong there is a little thai restaurant which is really good before going to that pub rock cafe i think its called!!?? can never remember!! too many V & Cs!!!

[Aboriginal]

Luv Thai food/ Japanese in fact anything from the East (Xcpt the latter chinese addition of course). Ever since I came to OZ I realised what a barren boring diet we were exposed to! Although never had such a good a steak and chips like they made at Wombles. Man thats making me hungry just thinking about it! Hope to visit Thai one day.

[sally]

thailand is amazing, want to go to kosamui, might do that when i have a few days off after my trip to zim

[Aboriginal]

Advantage of being a trolly dolly means good food at varied destinations even if on route food sucks. Hah ha!

[sally]

Emirates has really good food, not to sure about the breakfasts and the meal they serve into and out of singapore though!! its some kind of sloppy rice with a few prawns, looks really nasty!!!

[nightmare]

We should get them cooking 'wors over there. Then it'll smell lekker!!

[sally]

I hear you, what i would do for a piece of decent red meat!!!

[FerrariSucks]

i tried to imagine what you would do for a piece of red meat but could you just clarify it

[FerrariSucks]

In the UK

1. Tea time is dinner, not 10am tea and biscuits
2. Everyone complains about Tony Blair but he is still Prime Minister
3. You can't sit in the back of a bakkie
4. Women are noisier, rougher and drink as much as men,
5. If i doesn't rain for more than 3 weeks, then there is a hosepipe ban.
6. Daylight saving time just makes people late for work.
7. You can't hit kids
8. You get paid more benefits to have babies and not get married.
9. You get paid more benefits not to work
10. We buy 1000000000 times more petrol than Zim but it still cost more ???

[Aboriginal]

You forgot these
..when there's a hint of blue sky (note- not sun) every white mofo takes their shirt off and sunbathes wherever they can. Really weird.
...also during the best time of year in YU K (ie Summer) everyone :smiley35: 's off to somewhere overseas for a summer holiday?! (why not do that in Winter?):smiley36:

[FerrariSucks]

that is so true about the holidays.

And to make it worse, they fly to Spain and stay in an english owned villa eating fish and chips and full english breakfast. wankers

[sally]

ahhh, fish and chips sound really good right now!!! but (pork) bangers and mash!!!

[isaracorgitan]

"2. Everyone complains about Tony Blair but he is still Prime Minister"

was

[joemac]

"2. Everyone complains about Tony Blair but he is still Prime Minister"

was

If you take a look at the date on the original post............

[isaracorgitan]

oh

[Nyala]

Australia again

1. People are very friendly socially but think you've got sawdust for brains at work.
2. Two fashion styles prevail - 70's look and Emo's
3. Hippies are alive and well
4. Most balding old men have plaits halfway down their backs
5. If they have no front teeth then they're from Tumbarumba
6. Schools have condom machines in the toilets
7. Aussies cannot understand a Zimbo when we say Chips - they'll bring you Chops
8. No one uses Mr or Mrs ANYWHERE!!! School kids call old grannies by their first name
9. All away sporting trips are confidential - what happened on the trip is non-repeatable (unless you're Shane Warne)
10. Pedestrians have right of way everywhere, they don't even check the road before they step out.

[Edmonsta]

- People show that they like you by taking the piss out of you

- "Capsicum Spray" instead of "Pepper Spray"... Why would you abbreviate every word in the dictionary, but lengthen "Pepper Spray" for no reason?

- "Wogs" refer to themselves as "Wogs" but if an "Aussie" calls a "Wog" a "Wog" then it's a borderline insult. ("Wogs = Usually second generation Greek, Italian, Macedonian, etc)

- When you're invited to an Aussie bbq (braai), you get to their house and they're already cooking the meat. You eat about half an hour after you arrive and there's no space in your stomach for all the beer you've brought?!?!?? (unlike us Southern Africans who need to lubricate ourselves and poke the fire for 5 hours before it's anywhere near ready)

- "Drinking piss / Sinking Piss" - I just can't get used to that phrase.

That's about all I can think of for now.

[Patson]

1- Kiwis like shagging sheep
2- Kiwis like shagging sheep
3- Kiwis like shagging sheep

and kiwi supppppppppporters still as u like to say shag ur mom:whistling:

[Chick]

-- "Drinking piss / Sinking Piss" - I just can't get used to that phrase.

In what context are these sayings used?

[Nyala]

Alcohol = Piss

[Edmonsta]

In what context are these sayings used?

Yep, as Nyala says - alcohol = piss.

I think more specifically, beer = piss.

(getting pissed)

[barto11]

i was just wondering if there are any natural aussie left over there...3 months at my new job and the accent i'm most used to is the south and paramatta sydney accent...with a bit of queensland thrown in

[yarrumsg]

1. The locals say eigh but, suka i'm not the one
2. WRC 2007, only one team won the gold on the green
3. Everyone lives in the land of heaven, heaven any bread... we all just complain!?
4. There's more beers than beds in their Hotels erm... yea and... there are more beers in my fridge than beds in my house
5. we like to share a curry
6. A lot of the locals do sound bob, i am not the one
7. We zimbo's can reminisce about the mukodota family,
8. doesn't matter what football meas, there is only one game of kings
9. Zimbo's don't drink fosters or xxxx or any other piss they drink Castle or Zambezi
10. you can sit in an air zimbabwe plane for 6 hrs and not even leave the runway

[Angelshark]

In the Emirates there are so many rules and red tape, you actually wonder who in their right mind would want to live here. Says a lot about me huh.

1 If you kill a person you pay 250 000 dirhams blood money,
2 If you hit a camel with your car, you pay 1 000 000 dirhams blood money, the dumb thing went from being a stray to a prize racing camel in 50m of skid marks.
3 If you get caught drinking even as a tourist, you go inside without a phone call for the night to three days.
4 If you pound someone, 30 days in the slammer.
5 You need to buy an alcohol license, lasts a year.
6 If you have an accident, even if its not your fault and someone dies, you pay blood money.
7 You also have to remember that the ninjas and the men that wear dresses are untouchable.
8 If you ask a guy if he will do something for you that is important and he replies Insh'allah (God willing), forget it, it aint gonna happen.
9 Dont flip the bird to anyone, it is illegal and will cost you 30 days in cells.
10 The weather is piss poor, can reach 45degrees by 8am with 50% humidity.

[Sam Edwards]

You forgot these
..when there's a hint of blue sky (note- not sun) every white mofo takes their shirt off and sunbathes wherever they can. Really weird.

And when that shirt is off you see the most tatoos ever normaly = a dragon, a British bulldog, girlfriends names crossed out or covered with a cross or rose ect, every childs name, chinese wrighting. Etc etc
The woman sometimes have more tattoos than the men.

...also during the best time of year in YU K (ie Summer) everyone :smiley35: 's off to somewhere overseas for a summer holiday?! (why not do that in Winter?):smiley36:

if you ask for a packet of chips they clueless.....its crisps
when R.S.A won the WRC 2007 it was because the ref was cheating.. If they won (In their dreams) it would be above board.:smiley18:
Kids have no respect for anyone, :smiley11: and have more rights than the teachers or cops or anyone.
Most kids of 12 or less are drinking more than you or I in a week.
Everything is a health and saftey risk, the rules are crazy.
You have people calling to ask if you want to sue anyone for anything.... had a accident that was not your fault...we will sue for you, no win no fee???( If you fell over you should have been looking at where you were going)