Proud to be British

[Bianca]

I can send this - I am after all a British Citizen!! :)

BEING BRITISH

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub
for a Belgian beer, served by a South African barman (I added this bit!!), then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things
foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the
pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.



UNBELIEVABLE BRITISH STATISTICS ! ......

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving
out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally...

In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured
skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

[FerrariSucks]

Go on the poms

[dallas]

Too true B!!!!

[Nyala]

Thats very good. Go UK!!

[sally]

that would be funny if it wasnt so true!!!

[FerrariSucks]

far to true

[Jamie]

This kind of lunacy not only takes place in Britain, but also here in the United States. There must be some kind of logic to this. It certainly isn't common sense.



Jamie

I can send this - I am after all a British Citizen!! :)

BEING BRITISH

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub
for a Belgian beer, served by a South African barman (I added this bit!!), then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American
shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things
foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the
pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on
the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.



UNBELIEVABLE BRITISH STATISTICS ! ......

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years
after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving
out-of-control Scalextric cars.

and finally...

In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured
skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

[Patson]

Those are great need to speak to my pomi cuzz's hahahahaha

[pte7782]

So true. I have been here eight stinkin years now, and these things never cease to make me laugh. What you did leave out was the fact that the poms take their sick entitlement as an extra holiday. Making more work for us

[Chick]

Still, they were good enough to let us Zimbabweans, live and work in their country. Makes no difference if we are here by choice or because it was the only country to accept us, or if you have a British Passport! We are here, and very lucky to be so.

[Zulu]

The absolutley most hilarious thing is that when it first did the rounds it was written about the States. :smiley32:

Quick cut and paste job. Not wise to bite that hand that feeds methinks. Even if they are different to ourselves. :naughty:

[zimajays]

Still, they were good enough to let us Zimbabweans, live and work in their country. Makes no difference if we are here by choice or because it was the only country to accept us, or if you have a British Passport! We are here, and very lucky to be so.



Well said that lady - bottom line is we are all here coz we have no where else to go, so suck up the bottom lip, stop cripping about what a shit time you haveing and get on with life - at least we have food in the shops and fuel in tanks and we get to say the prime minister is a wanker and no one will shoot us! Get down on your knees and thank god for that! I do every day when I hear my mates and family going through what they are going through! There are worse things in life then living in the UK!

[Zulu]

Well said Chick and Zimajays :smiley32:

[Chick]

I have lived in quite a few countries since being asked to leave Zimbabwe (due to loss of residency). Obviously this was a shock to my system. However, as things turned out to be so awful and impossible in Zims now, I am thankful I did not go down the 'passport marriage' I was considering at the time in order to remain. It was very difficult to settle in the UK for the first few years, but then I realised it was my attitude to this country that was blocking my enjoyment, so just 'got on with it'.

My most treasured feeling in the UK is 'Freedom' within a democratic country.

Having said that, the weather sucks.

[FerrariSucks]

I have lived in quite a few countries since being asked to leave Zimbabwe (due to loss of residency). Obviously this was a shock to my system. However, as things turned out to be so awful and impossible in Zims now, I am thankful I did not go down the 'passport marriage' I was considering at the time in order to remain. It was very difficult to settle in the UK for the first few years, but then I realised it was my attitude to this country that was blocking my enjoyment, so just 'got on with it'.

My most treasured feeling in the UK is 'Freedom' within a democratic country.

Having said that, the weather sucks.

You are absolutely right Chick, if you are going to live somewhere, its best to engage with the locals. I will always be Zimbabwean, but I support England in Sports as it is where I live.
I think the weather stinks but at the end of the day I have a future and the option to improve my life in the UK.

Anyway back to the topic, Go the Poms!!!:smiley36:

[Nyala]

No matter where we end up we'll always be Zimbabwean and will be considered different and see things differently from other people any where else but in Zim. Best thing to do is sink our roots down, get a good job, make friends who can live with our strange ways and get on with life. Australia has given me so much that I'd never have in Zim so I do love it here. We've made good friends, all work for a living and contribute into Australias economy and consider Australia to be our future. The Zim we know and love is gone, it's a new era there as it's a new era in all our lives...live life to the fullest no matter where you are.

(Here endeth the lecture...lol :) )