Ladies again!!

[Greenballs]

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married...
>
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls". I told
> my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
> Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around
> 3 a.m., a bit tipsy, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the

> cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,
> realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9
times.
> I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
> solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when
> totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =
> MIDNITE!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and
I
> told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away
> with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I
asked
> him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times,
> then said, "Oh crap.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat,
> cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped
> over the coffee table and farted."
:smiley36:

[Greenballs]

> > The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to

> > place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her

lack of underwear.

> > "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband

> > demanded

> > "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."

> > The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For

the sake of decency, here's 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."



> > Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her

> > skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.

> > "Blessed Virgin, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?"

> > She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."

> > He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency,

here's 20. Go and buy some underwear!"

> >

> > Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her

skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

> > "Sweet mudder, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?"

> > She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta

> > affarrd any."

> > The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer da sake of

> > decency, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."

[Greenballs]

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has
been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green
every week for the last month."

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail
Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months
since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week
for the last two months."

This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the Priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon
when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall
upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the
alter. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald
green shoes. The priest and alter boy gasp as the woman sits down with
her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the alter boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie
Green?"

The alter boy replies, "No father, I think it's just the reflection off
her shoes."

[Greenballs]

Trials and Tribulations of the older generation.


In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a
long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time
for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation
regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances,
living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly. "Well," she
said, responding very carefully,

"I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he
looked her in the eye and casually asked ... "Is that one word or two
words?