Anybody Need A Moan

[zimajays]

Welcome to TCB’s long drop

The object of this thread is to have a moan, with out offending anyone, with out dreading the cliché advice that people give. This is just so you can have a b***h. NO ADVICE THANKS!

Now this is the important bit, when you are done with the moan you have to full the bucket with sand and throw down the longdrop, so it stops the bad stuff from spreading! If you don’t then we are at liberty to make “stinky” jokes at your expenses! Washing hands is optional!!

Like so…

I am so fed up with this bloody weather, we are making our way into winter and I am yet to see the summer. I also have had enough of the NHS - I hate the fact we are just numbers and statistics with them


* zimajays throws sand down the hole, picks up nice smelling soap and washes hands!



PS - If however you would like to show your support by giving wangs - that is up to you!!!!

[Edmonsta]

I'm sick of being in a shitty job and not knowing what I want to do with my life.


*edmonsta realises he dropped his phone down the longdrop, just his luck. Nevermind, he thinks, it will be fun to ring it while other people are on the crapper...*




*washes hands and checks hair in mirror*


*is there a mirror in the long drop?*

[Chick]

I am seriously sulking about the fact that for the past four days I have opened up TCB to see I have NO reps. I is the wang slut afterall, how can I be slutting if I get no reps? I will just have to keep those funny postings in my in-box until I stopped sulking. I is just gonna keep my wangs to myself .....

*Wipes bum with scraps of newspaper and decides not to throw down the sand - 'smell that' is my thinking.*

Just about to leave the long drop when the phone rings, thinking: that's a muffled ring tone'

[barto11]

i'm sick and tired of living in a stupid country where i dont fit in, its either cold, sunny but with a galeforce wind, or absolutely bucketing down or a triple combination of all three

hears phone but ignores it...feels who ever is calling can wait

[zimajays]

I sooo f**king fed up with the heap of shit that gets loaded on my sholders... I is only one person...

picks up bucket, throws it down the hole and sits on the sand. The smell in the long drop is better then outside - peace and quiet.

[squeakyB]

I am sick of my pathetic excuse for a boss! he expects me to work 24/7 and yet if I need an hour off to take daughter to the Doc its a mission...

belinda chucks boss down long drop follwed by the sand...

[watershed_bestplaceever]

The SA Driving people can go (*&^&(*^(#% if they don't I will *&*%&% them, and if that does not work I'll get someone else to (*^*#%)(* up. They are a usless bunch of *&(^ *&)) idiots who are all driving illegal themselves. Their corrupt (*&(*& is driving me *&(*& crazy. I'm not some teenager who has no clue how to drive. Im 30. life is a ^*&%%*& mystery

[hoadc]

The same S**t day after day, it's just the depth that varies and this weather is really starting to pee me of big time.

* i'am fed up with long drops I what a proper toilet

[zimajays]

Why, when there is a crisis in my family, do they all turn to me and expect me to be a werewolf, and bear my fangs to get things done!


pours sand down the long drop and shuffles out

[FerrariSucks]

fucking run, piss off, go weee in the ocean

[Patson]

thinks but hurts himself due to a whole tribe of goatsmen in his head so he does his A.G.B and throws sand down

[sally]

why do people come to me for money!!!! i am not a f**cking Bank!!!

*pours sand down the pit*

[Chick]

I couldn't sleep last night and spent the whole night playing games in arcade ......... no wait, wrong thread

moves into the happy room

[dallas]

Why do we look like an ATM, whenever THEY want money we must just hand it over!! Go F£$%ing work !!!!!

[zimajays]

why are women soooo bitchy, why can't they just say what they gotta say to people and be done with it, why make silly inuuendo's and bitchy comments behind others back...

* zimajays pulls knife out her mates back and goes looking for the b***h who put it there - then comes and puts sand down long drop... and then throws b***h down there as well

[trouble]

why can't men ever just be honest about what they want from you??! it's always game playing and b*ll*cks and if you pull them up on it and say what the f*ck are you playing at you get attacked for being a pushy demanding woman??

*trouble considers throwing man in question down long drop but realises it wouldn't be worth the hassle so just throws sand down and wanders out in the pouring rain*

[Chel]

why are people so fickle! ?? it burns my ass that one day someone is your friend the next the bitching about you!!! im with zimajays!!! grrr

chel throws supersized sand down the long drop

[zimajays]

just comes in to sit and ponder the joys that is life...


throws sand down long drop and spras sweet pea airfreshner...

[Chel]

hee hee that feels better than moaning hay? im all for the air freshners :)

[Chick]

I thought I would sit on the long drop and have a moan about Firefox which has suddently decided not to accept TCB. I have thrown the cookies out and still it will not accept me as a member, just a guest. Poo hoo.

*looks around to find there is no newspaper available*
*shouts - anybody out there - help*
*hears that phone ringing again*

[barto11]

thinks chick should stop throwing her cookie around willy-nilly...and says to use a leaf

[Chick]

*shouts, can somebody pass me a banana leaf please*

[zimajays]

* barto11 thinks chick should stop throwing her cookie around willy-nilly...and says to use a leaf


careful batro, that sounds like advice and if you will read the rules
NO ADVICE - I will neg rep you next time!!!

[barto11]

sorry medem....i forgot(also couldnt resist it...but then again its not the cuss thread either)

[zimajays]

thanks barto fot the apology

[ACE]

I need to moan, where to start? No water, no zesa, no meat, no milk, no bread. But still we stick around. AT LEAST WE HAVE THE SUNSHINE.

[Chel]

hay we have our sunny days here too :) ... okay once in a while

[zimajays]

would like to remind Chel that this is a NO advise thread, just support...

[Richard]

i support that motion...

[zimajays]

is wondering if Richard would like neg reps?????

[Richard]

*richard wonders if zj's has the plastic balls/dildo to do that....

[zimajays]

wonders if richard has enough strength to handle a neg rep from me!

[Richard]

*richard blinks to try and get the worried look out of his eye

[Chel]

lol advise? i didnt give advise did i ??? sorry if i did :)

[Richard]

*richard thinks that zj's should stop bullying the other house mates

[zimajays]

*richard thinks that zj's should stop bullying the other house mates


yes dear...

[Richard]

no dear...

[Goblin]

Im spitting wasps because our house we have been settled in for two years is been sold and we have a month to get out.....

[Chick]

Totally unimpressed. My boyfriend has to work Saturday and Sunday. Next weekend is the same.

shouts out for someone to bring some newspaper.

[Chel]

that b#tch i used to be friends with just buggers off to london to stay with some guy she hasnt even met before, for the weekend! is she fu$%$%cking crazy?!!?!?

chel throws more sand down the long drop and walks away

[Chick]

is not coming in here until someone tears up more newspaper and refills the sand bucket.....

[zimajays]

tears up more news paper and fulls the bucket with sand...

[Chick]

I would like to moan about the fact I stood for over half and hour waiting for a bus today. I had two heavy bags of shopping and was wishing I had taken the car and taken a chance on finding a space and paid the parking fee. Sigh.

wipes hands on wall, pulls off one postage stamp piece of newspaper and chucks the sand down the hole.

[barto11]

i am fucking unipressed that i bowled 9.5 overs, without bowling one no bowl....and i fucked up on my last one....my fault i know but still enough to moan about!!!

wonders why chick thinks she is so special that she needs newspaper, but thanks zj for supplying it

[Chel]

chel wonders why barto is swearing so much?

[barto11]

chel wonders why barto is swearing so much?

coz if you knew the season i've had...it put me in a very bad mood:smiley36: :smiley6:

[Chick]

* barto11 wonders why chick thinks she is so special that she needs newspaper, but thanks zj for supplying it


Barto, meet me in the cuss thread..

[barto11]

i was just asking a question....am too tired for cuss thread

[zimajays]

Why is it that financial institutions think they are smarter then me. Why do they always start thier arguments with "NO BUT" I am fed up with arguing with the tax man, (by the way UK tax Department = Zim Tax Department - no difference, these idiots also lose forms) only to be proved right 2 months down the line by which time I am dealing with another zit infested lightie who has flourescent light burn - grrrrr. And then there are the banks - OMG they are so tight bloody sparks fly out of thier bum holes, at the mere mention of refunds - idiots x 3!

* zimajays mumbles bloody banks, bloody tax man, bloddy bloody bloody while throwing sand down the pit. Notice's the sand is getting a bit high - might be time to dig another hole!

[Chick]

* Chick bags not digging another moan hole.

My moan is: The boyfriend offered to cook dinner whilst I went out to do some work. When I returned at 8.45pm he was playing computer games and no food cooking. We finally ate a simple pasta dish at 10.30.

* Chick chucks down sand, slaps hands together to brush off sand and leaves the room.

[sally]

I dont know whats wrong! But not feeling myself today?? Cant wait to be in SA!!!!

sand thrown in pit!

[zimajays]

I haven't done the washing for a bit - its been raining and I can't be asked - anyway no matter how I put my one and only clean pair of knickes on this morning they felt back to front - so I spent the whole day digging them outta my butt - coz they have a bloody personality problem - in as much as they think they are thongs - well I fixed them - they are now shredded and in the bin!

throws sand on the heap that is growing!

[FerrariSucks]

If that was your one and only clean pair and its in the bin then thats means, ohhhh dude, come on, this is a family site:smiley3: :smiley11: :smiley36: :smiley9: :whistling:

[FerrariSucks]

I have a headache and haven't slept well in 2 days, the weather is shit, work is busy and I can't wait for things to get better.

[Chel]

theres this girl at work thats younger than me who thinks shes my boss?? im mean WTF?? she is driving me completely and utterly insane!!
she sits there on her fat ass and barks orders at me ie 'make me some tea'

a truckload of sand thrown in pit and a promise to dig a new moan hole asap!!

[FerrariSucks]

just pour the truckload of sand on her, no-one saw anything in here:smiley2: :smiley2:

[Goblin]

have hay fever this morning, its raining and i just called an estate agents about a house and got told by a very " bright" young girl that she cant understand my accent!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chick]

I got a cold and very grumpy with it.

sniffs, coughs, spits - dumps sand and leaves

[FerrariSucks]

this place is turning into a beach with all the sand

Its fu@king raining again, the sun was out like 3 hours ago, WTF?????

[barto11]

why do poms insist on making out in not very private private places!!!!

i mean get a room for christs sake...clubs maybe, but not on escalators in tube stations...not in trains...and certainly not right infront of people trying to eat at London Victoria food court...i dont care how much you "love" eachother!!!

throws sand and thinks its time he get himself a girlfriend for the timebeing

[zimajays]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

throws sand down the hole

[FerrariSucks]

whats up with you?

[Chick]

Pffft *Yawn - I need sleep*

leaves chundabox without throwing sand, washing hands or closing the door - cause she's too tired

[zimajays]

&%*)&^_&%^%$%^$)^_&&%%£$"£ GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

thows sand and walks out to get a shovel!

[zimajays]

walks in and digs another hole coz DAMN!

[Goblin]

I have terminal flu

[zimajays]

Why? Ahhh fcuk it!

* zimajays throws herself down the hole and gets stuck half way down - story of her life

[Chick]

Had one of those days, starting with locking myself outta my flat..... grabbed the car keys and did not pick up the house keys. IF anyone asks why I don't keep both sets on one ring, I gonna scream.

has a sob, wipes her nose on her T-shirt, feels a little better and scrawls a note on the back of the door to ZJ saying thanks for new hole

[zimajays]

walks in sits down...


A bloody pigeon went to town on me today, not once, hell no that would have been sods law, he went twice!!

WTF who in the hell of it has heard of a pigeon doing its business twice in one go!

throws sand down the long drop and stomps off!

[FerrariSucks]

Had one of those days, starting with locking myself outta my flat..... grabbed the car keys and did not pick up the house keys. IF anyone asks why I don't keep both sets on one ring, I gonna scream.

* Chick has a sob, wipes her nose on her T-shirt, feels a little better and scrawls a note on the back of the door to ZJ saying thanks for new hole

Why dont you keep them together?:whistling:

[FerrariSucks]

The sun came out for 3 days in the middle of the week and now that the weekend is coming its fu@king off again

[Chick]

Sis FS you didn't wipe, nor dump soil.

enters and notices the mess FS left and leaves the room with kness firmly clasped together.

[Chick]

* Chick enters the room in a huff.

Muttering to herself: I posted 25 jokes this weekend and I did not get one wang, not one!!

* Chick sniffs - looks around for paper - a water bucket - a pile of sand - anything - to no avail.

She screams: *who's in charge here*

[Chick]

My moan is about Car Dealer garages. The relay thingie went on the car therefore it did not recognise the key and would not start. We had to get it towed to the Fiat garage. The spare part cost £12.53 the labour cost £152.99. Total bill inc. vat. £194.49 and I had to get a taxi to the dealers to pick up the car £10.

* Chick dumps keys down pit and considers selling car

[Chick]

I need a moan, but I am so wound up about my noisy neighbours and the hell they are causing, that if I start I will get the official badge for having the longest post ever .........

dumps some soil, screams and leaves the room

[sally]

chick cheer up hun!!! play music at a ungodly hour really loud!!!

[Chick]

Can't chill, got serious noise - they got a kid running up and down all day and night. can't play loud music cause I will disturb the other neighbours ..... sigh. Working on a solution as we speak !!

[Patson]

ahhhhhhhhhh grrrrrrrrrrr hmmmmmmmmmm

plays in sand and leaves...

[sally]

I am pissed with certain people who make life hell for others!!!
Who cares if my red lipstick is not postbox red?

[Patson]

eish

gives every one a prozack attack mhahahaha

[sally]

thanks patson!!

[Chick]

Chick enterers the room muttering and sighing and wonders why anyone would play in the loo sand .....

is so intense on this thinking she forgets why she came into the room in the first place, wipes her hands on her t-shirt, farts and leaves .....

[etranger]

I,m p&ssed off with my city, its the only one in Oz that don't have freeways.

[joemac]

Where are ya?

[Chick]

It's cold - and there is a long cold dark wet 8 months to go.....

wipes her hands on her jeans - sniffs, coughs and leaves the room

[Armstrong-Abbott]

My moan exactly, Chick! I wish I was a hedgehog so I could hibernate till Easter !!!!!!!!!!! Didn't go away this summer because of the weather so am going away to Wales next month for half-term. Chosen a place with an indoor heated swimming pool so I don't care what the weather's like. Think I'll buy a sun-lamp for SAD (seasonally affected disorder) and I'll just pretend!!

[Chick]

Gonna moan about the price of sun-lamps for SAD. They are so expensive and you have to sit in front of them for up to 6hrs to feel the effect....

wipes hands on jeans again

[Edmonsta]

I'm not here to moan today, I've just come to get the phone that I dropped down the poo shute.

A colleague broke theirs and needs a phone, so I've offered my old one to them.

:smiley2: :smiley32:

[zimajays]

sweet - Ed while you are down there - can you please dig the hole a bit deeper!!

[Edmonsta]

Sure!

*dig dig*



*plop*



HEY! READ THE SIGN, THE TOILET IS CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE!!!! AAAARGH!!! :smiley5:

[Chick]

is hopping from foot to foot holding her ***** waiting for Edmonsta to finish digging out the phone and digging a deeper pit...... hurry man, it's an emergency.

looks around and spots a large bush and hops away......

[Chick]

When will the toilet be open for use, the bush is full!!

[zimajays]

has given up cleaning the long drop!

Ya'll a filthy punch of S**T Heads!!

[Chick]

I'm not cleaning it neither, we need a volunteer or volunteer someone - now then, who's been naughty these past few days....

leaves to consider

[zimajays]

has a couple of people in mind, but wonders if prada will survive all the kuk!

[sally]

i really dont want to be the cleaner!!!

[Chick]

The sun has gone, the clouds are grey and low, it's cold and I have the heating on - I dread my gas bills.

[dallas]

Is tired of family problems.....wish they would just go away!!

[Chick]

This is my moan for the week:

I am seriously tired of people showing off their bum cracks..... yesterday I had the worst eye-full going. This woman wearing jeans that sat just above her groin, bent down to pick something up in front of me and my man as we casually walked along the road...... and there it was - the longest, whitest bum crack.

You see them in the pubs, supermarkets, street, bus - these cracks are everywhere - I say - put them away.

[dallas]

I agree with you there!!! and if you are going to show your undies make sure they dont have holes in them

[Shayne]

This is my moan for the week:

I am seriously tired of people showing off their bum cracks..... yesterday I had the worst eye-full going. This woman wearing jeans that sat just above her groin, bent down to pick something up in front of me and my man as we casually walked along the road...... and there it was - the longest, whitest bum crack.

You see them in the pubs, supermarkets, street, bus - these cracks are everywhere - I say - put them away.

I say no. We need somewhere to park our bicycles.

[dallas]

you only want tight cracks to park your bike in, the ones wesee are flabby and crabby

[Shayne]

Well, then you can fit two bikes in.

[dallas]

ewwwwww

[Chick]

Rain rain rain, it's the rain train pulling into town

/me thinks - of course - Glastonbury is on

[dallas]

that says it all!!!