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Howard Neill
09-24-2007, 05:26 PM
This was in the Cape Argus:-

Tavern of the seas
September 21, 2007

David Biggs

Spring has sprung and it's time to find the braai tongs and scrape last summer's grease from the braai grid.

For the benefit of foreigners who may not be educated in the ways of the South African male, let me explain that the braai (known in some countries as the "barbecue") is one of the last bastions of male dominance.

Many South African men would not like to be seen in a kitchen, but set them in front of a braai grid and they are instant experts.

Every red-blooded South African male has his theories about the best way to braai. They will tell you the best wood to use, where to buy the best boerewors and how to make the best braai sauce. They also know exactly how many times the meat should be turned and exactly when it is ready to eat.

Women play a very minor part in this ritual.

It goes like this.

The woman goes out and buys the meat, sauce and potatoes, plus the salad ingredients and bread rolls.

She then prepares the salad and butters the rolls, prepares the meat for cooking and places it neatly in a tray, along with the cooking utensils and sauces.

The man piles the wood on the braai, lights it and opens a beer. His male friends join him round the fire, absorbing smoke and discussing the Boks' chances in the World Cup.

Presently they call for another beer and the woman brings out a six-pack.

After a while the woman suggests the fire might be ready to use. The men examine it and nod wisely.

Now comes the vital part. The man places the meat on the braai grid.

The woman now organises the plates, wine and cutlery and brings them outside, where the man asks her to bring another beer, which she does.


As she hands over the beer she remarks that the meat seems to be burning. The man says he is dealing with it and splashes some beer over it to dowse the flames.

The man now hands the meat to the woman who takes it inside, cuts off the burnt bits and brings it out for the guests, together with the potato salad, green salad, paper serviettes and rolls.

Everybody eats and remarks on the great culinary skill of the man, who smiles shyly and says: "Ag it depends on knowing exactly what wood to use."

Afterwards the woman clears the table, takes the dishes inside and washes them while the man opens another beer with the last remaining male guest and decides the Boks' chances are pretty good this year.

The next day all the males call each other on the cellphones to say what a great chef old Frik is and how well he organises a braai.

See? It's something only a male can manage properly.

Usually, before going to bed the man asks the woman whether she enjoyed "her night off" and wonders why she is less than enthusiastic. He falls asleep thinking there's just no pleasing some women.


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galeforce
09-24-2007, 06:45 PM
Mmmmmm dejavu of note... thanks for that Howard ;)

igundwane
09-24-2007, 07:34 PM
but there isnt an art to just throwing bits of meat onto a piece of hot metal. It still ends up burnt & tough. Only reason people say it tastes nice is cause they have sat there for 5hrs watching everyone fart around and not do anything and they are ultimately starving.

Gorge themselves silly, then proceed to spend the next morning on the crapper getting rid of it all.

Patson
09-25-2007, 03:57 AM
nice one Howard ....

georgie
09-25-2007, 04:53 AM
but there isnt an art to just throwing bits of meat onto a piece of hot metal. It still ends up burnt & tough. Only reason people say it tastes nice is cause they have sat there for 5hrs watching everyone fart around and not do anything and they are ultimately starving.

Gorge themselves silly, then proceed to spend the next morning on the crapper getting rid of it all.


Strange braais you attended.

Since when is it just about throwing meat on and burning it?

A little finnesse and it should be the most delicious meat you ever eat.

Shayne
09-25-2007, 05:03 AM
Nothing beats a medium rare steak, cooked on the braai. Or juicy vors.

Howard Neill
09-25-2007, 07:43 AM
but there isnt an art to just throwing bits of meat onto a piece of hot metal. It still ends up burnt & tough. Only reason people say it tastes nice is cause they have sat there for 5hrs watching everyone fart around and not do anything and they are ultimately starving.

Gorge themselves silly, then proceed to spend the next morning on the crapper getting rid of it all.


Strange braais you attended.

Since when is it just about throwing meat on and burning it?

:smiley32: People who look like this, usually aren't very good at braaing. :smiley17:

http://i23.tinypic.com/xnswsm.jpg

They sometimes gorge themselves silly. It's something to do with their sunny dispositions.

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Chick
09-25-2007, 09:43 AM
Presently they call for another beer and the woman brings out a six-pack......

Last guy who ask me to fetch a beer for him ended up wearing it.....

I like to braai my own meat, gasp - faint, and I braai vegetables too ..

is waiting for the groans and gasps

Howard Neill
09-25-2007, 10:01 AM
I like to braai my own meat, gasp - faint, and I braai vegetables too ..

* Chick is waiting for the groans and gasps

My good friend, Carol, also like to braai with the guys. She was a cool chick. :smiley20:

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Chick
09-25-2007, 10:16 AM
My good friend, Carol, also like to braai with the guys. She was a cool chick. :smiley20:

Lol. What do ya mean 'was a cool chick' Has she gone somewhere???

joemac
09-25-2007, 10:16 AM
IMHO. I have never been able to teach a woman to cook steak. I was finishing up at a restaurant once and spent two weeks training my replacement (a woman) on trying to cook a perfect steak. At the end of it all, she could produce something that looked like a good steak, smelled like a good steak, but.............it wasn't. I couldn't work out what the difference was but I ended deciding that it must be about love. She was going through the motions of cooking it well but lacked that something. I think that that something must be a love and respect for a good steak. It's the same with the missus, she cooks a good steak, but it's just good, not excellent and I think it boils down to the same fundamental problem. (of course I don't tell her this *rubs tummy and says yum*)

georgie
09-25-2007, 10:30 AM
I think that is true of either men or women. Some of us can cook some cant.

You;re not past tense to me Chick.

I'm sure Howard didnt mean it.

Nyala
09-25-2007, 10:42 AM
I love a Braai...all I do is organise cutlery and crockery and hubby does the rest. He's great at cooking sadza and nyama, makes a wicked gravy and his steaks are to die for. I sit back and enjoy the coldies...(cokes)....and listen to everyone fart and burp in preparation for a feast. It's great. :)

Chick
09-25-2007, 10:44 AM
Cooking Sadza is an art form in itself. Just does not taste as good cooked indoors on the stove as it does outdoors on the open fire.

Nyala
09-25-2007, 10:47 AM
Cooking Sadza is an art form in itself. Just does not taste as good cooked indoors on the stove as it does outdoors on the open fire.


Hey gorgeous Chick!! Long time no chat.

You are so right...the sadza needs to be cooked on an open fire to make it good.

Chick
09-25-2007, 10:48 AM
Morning Gogo, can I come to your house and have some of your husbands cooking?

Nyala
09-25-2007, 10:53 AM
Anytime, hun. Bring a beer and a deck chair.

Howard Neill
09-25-2007, 11:13 AM
My good friend, Carol, also like to braai with the guys. She was a cool chick. :smiley20:

Lol. What do ya mean 'was a cool chick' Has she gone somewhere???

Ja, she ran away from home. I sometimes bump into her.

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