The Chief Baboon http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums zimbabwe, zim, zimbabwe forums, zimbo, zimbabweans online, zimbabweans, sadza, africa, braai, bultong, biltong, zimbabwe schools, kariba, vic falls, victoria falls, en Fri, 10 Sep 2010 10:44:24 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/baboonchild_images/misc/rss.jpg The Chief Baboon http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums Bulawayo - Recollections Part 2 http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17085&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 07:47:05 GMT If I am going on a bit guys , let me know and I will can it!!! My Bulawayo saga continues ..... After about 3 weeks of basic training, we had... If I am going on a bit guys , let me know and I will can it!!!

My Bulawayo saga continues .....

After about 3 weeks of basic training, we had begun to get a better understanding of how the system worked and how the Regular NCO ranks reflected their status: For example, if one of them had three stripes on his shoulder, it was assumed that he could read and write, two stripes, he could read or write and finally if he had only one stripe, he knew someone who could read or write!!!
And of course not forgetting our beloved Company Sergeant Major – A WO2 affectionately known as Bush Pig, it was speculated that this was not because he looked like one which he did!, but more probably because used to f%&* them!!! We could never confirm this although suspicion and innuendo ran deep.
After 4 weeks, our first pass!!! A Saturday night in Bulawayo (and in my case my first time in Bulawayo), and God help us if we got back any later than midnight!
Now as we were not allowed to wear “civvies” we all went into town dressed in our khaki longs, green jerseys, black shoes, regimental beret and stick belt, not to mention all supporting the standard Depot RRR haircut – not one hair longer than 3mm.
The first “port of call” as I recall was the Palace Hotel where one could get a “cleansing ale”, listen to some music and if you were very lucky, maybe score a dance with one of the local ladies.
In this vain, I noticed a young lady sitting near the bar and approached her, introduced myself and asked her for a dance. We don’t like TF soldiers, especially ones from Salisbury, so get stuffed was her terse response. Well, I was a bit taken aback by her attitude and told her so, suggesting that this was typical of someone who had been weaned on battery acid!! For reasons I do not understand, she took offence at this retort. Unbeknown to me, she was accompanied by a boyfriend, who loomed large from nowhere when he heard her spit the dummy!. Now this guy was not small and to me seemed part neanderthal, part rock ape, probably a fireman on the railways I thought at the time.
I interrupt my riviere here to add that Bulawayo was the main base for Rhodesia Railways and at that time, if you were white and not too well educated, you could get a job as a fireman on the railways as blacks were considered not good enough to shovel coal into the belly of a Garrard steam engine!!! Strange as it may seem, but it was true.
Back to my story: It was clear that things were going to get ugly with the rock ape, but I was not concerned as after 4 weeks of running up and down rifle butts, thousands of push-ups, miles of route marching and stabbing sacks full of grass with fixed bayonets, I was a lean mean fighting machine and to extricate myself from the situation I did what came naturally, I called on my 3 mates who had come in with me!!! On seeing 4 of us, he backed off and my parting shot on leaving the Palace Bar was to suggest to the rock ape that he learn to walk without dragging his knuckles on ground before talking to the nice folk from Salisbury!!!............ And this little episode lead to life time of me “taking the piss” out of Bulawegians at every chance I got!!!
We subsequently went elsewhere, proceeded to get rolling drunk and staggered back to base in time for curfew, still desperate and dateless!!
As luck would have it, we soon got introduced to the nurses home where we met some trainee nurses and the following couple of Saturday passes were much more pleasant as we also found the Glass Castle where we could relax and enjoy ourselves more than we could in town.
On completion of our Phase 1 training and after having had a taste of the infantry, there was no way known to man or beast that I was going to remain there. I had applied for and been accepted by the Engineers and after 6 weeks 12 of us transferred to Brady Barracks 2RhE and were anticipating exciting things to come!!!
 ]]> Zim Nostalgia ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17085 Things Only Women Understand http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17084&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:05:46 GMT TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

· Cats' facial expressions.
· The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.
· Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
· Fat clothes.
· Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
· The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
· Cutting your hair to make it grow.
· Eyelash curlers.
· The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

· OTHER WOMEN!! ]]> General Jokes ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17084 Oestrogen Issues http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17083&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:04:36 GMT HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “OESTROGEN ISSUES”

· Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
· You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
· The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
· Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
· You're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving - Call 0800----
· Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
· Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.
· You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
· The Nurofen Plus box is empty and you bought it yesterday. ]]> General Jokes ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17083 <![CDATA[Pregnancy Q & A]]> http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17082&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:01:29 GMT PREGNANCY Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he/she finishes university.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'child support payment' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university. ]]> General Jokes ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17082 NSFW Kids http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17081&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 03:32:02 GMT *NUDITY* I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up... NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents..."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
POLICE #1
While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop? Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoelace?"
POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organisation that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not darling?" asked dad. "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
DEATH
While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through it when suddenly, something fell out. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between its pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!" ]]> Adult and Sexist! Mullah http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17081 NSFW Weekend http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17080&goto=newpost Fri, 10 Sep 2010 03:30:55 GMT Sorry Had no decent jokes for the last couple of weeks.

BUT WE ARE BACK!!!! Have a great weekend

The Pakistani Cricket team's hotel burnt down last night. Police are still trying to establish who threw the match.
--
A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts breastfeeding her baby. The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here". The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago!"
--
A bloke goes up to a fat chick in a pub. He asks if she's got a pen. She answers him "Yes! As a matter of fact I do". He comes back with "Does the farmer know you've got out?"
--
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my car!"
--
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. "Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks. "Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."
A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. "Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks. She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."
Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari. You guessed it - her share of the lotto winnings...
That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.
"What's this?" she asks her husband. "Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"
--
John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale and it read 117 so she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
--
A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes." The cowboy grabs the doc's arm and says. "No way. I hate needles. I'm not having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. "take this pill." The cowboy asks, "What is it?" The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?" "No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull the tooth."
--
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says," How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had seen them. She says, "You'll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says, "Look! It's still in the crate!"
--
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mould and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and wreaks something awful.
Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I sure as fuck aint touching it..."
--
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course the wife agrees and they do it again...
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realises that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die." She says, "Of course, dear" and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris, enough is enough. I have to get up in the morning. YOU DON'T!"
-- ]]> Adult and Sexist! Mullah http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17080 Zim Nostalgia Umtali http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17079&goto=newpost Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:52:52 GMT Hello again,
I've been trying unsuccessfully for some time now, to find 'Street Maps of Umtali' circa 1948 - 1950, when I lived there.
I'd appreciate it if someone could post here, any & all 'then' & 'now' photos of Umtali [ renamed Mutare ].
Particulary, of what was then Windsor Street, in the Palmerston(e) area of Town, where I lived.

Many thanks & regards to all,
Robert ]]> Zim Nostalgia Robert http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17079 Zim Govt slashes passport fees http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17078&goto=newpost Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:06:30 GMT http://www.herald.co.zw/inside.aspx?sectid=1946&cat=1


Herald Reporter

GOVERNMENT has reduced the price of a standard passport from US$140 to US$50 and scrapped fines for lost passports with immediate effect as it moves to ensure accessibility of the document by citizens.

Addressing journalists in Harare yesterday, Home Affairs co-Ministers Kembo Mohadi and Theresa Makone said Government would soon dispatch officials from the Registrar-General’s Office to South Africa to register Zim-babweans working there without proper documents.

The move is part of a cocktail of measures being instituted by the Government to enable Zimbabweans to get passports to curb reliance on Emergency Travelling Documents.

Despite the reduced price, the cost of a Zimbabwean passport, however, remains higher than in some Sadc countries such as South Africa, Namibia, Lesotho and Botswana.

In South Africa, an ordinary passport costs 190 Rand, which translates to US$22,80, in Namibia one forks out 160 Rand (US$19,20) while in Lesotho it costs 100 Rand (US$12,20).

South Africa, Zimbabwe’s major trading partner, has been rejecting ETDs, insisting on the use of passports.

Ministers Mohadi and Makone also revealed that fines for lost passports had been scrapped.

"The Government has reduced the prices of passports from US$140 to US$50 with immediate effect. After extensive debate on the price of the travel document, Cabinet directed that the price be reduced henceforth to enable people to own and be able to travel out of the country’s borders.

"The new price was reached at following concerns raised in Cabinet that the costs of passports were beyond the reach of the majority of our people most of whom were earning US$150," Minister Mohadi said.

The same price would be charged for lost, expired or defaced passports. He said the price would not affect operations at the RG’s Office as the reduction had been effected only on printing costs.

Minister Mohadi said the RG’s department, after factoring in administrative costs, would decide the price of emergency passports.

Said Minister Makone: "The reduction in prices has been effected on the printing costs and will not affect revenue inflows to the department. There is nothing that has changed, as the RG’s department will continue to get the same revenues.

"Government has simply asked Fidelity Printers to reduce printing costs and that will not affect the Registrar-General’s Office.

"We anticipate queues to increase following this price reduction as people rush to get the document, but you will need to bear with us," she said.

Minister Makone said the Home Affairs Ministry was, however, looking at ways of removing bottlenecks on the availability of passports by ensuring that booklets were printed fast to match demand.

She said the greatest handicap was that production of the passport booklets was done externally.

"We will be talking to the Registrar-General’s Department and the Ministry of Finance on the possibility of the department printing the passport booklets in-house," she said.

Minister Makone said once the RG’s department was resourced, it would be able to buy the required machinery to produce the passports.

The two ministers said the RG’s Department would be tasked to send officers to South Africa to register Zimbabweans working in that country without proper documents.

Minister Mohadi said the threat of deportation of Zimbabweans working in South Africa without proper documentation was not new but had been discussed last year.

He said the two governments had agreed to a moratorium of six months that was further extended to December 31.

"Government through the RG’s department will be sending officers to South Africa to make sure our people in that country get the requisite documentation.

"With this price, Zimbabweans working in South Africa can also come and acquire the documents.

"Those who choose not to regularise their travel documents in time will be deported and will have no one to blame," Minister Mohadi said.

Last year South Africa temporarily halted the deportation of Zimbabweans without proper travelling documents and also gave them the right to work, in education and health care in that country.

The reduction in prices is expected to limit demand for emergency travel documents that are not machine-readable and thus not recognised in some countries.

Last year Government reduced the cost of acquiring a standard passport from US$170 to US$140 and an urgent passport to US$250 from US$350.

A diplomatic passport processed in one day went down to US$315 from US$385.

The Registrar-General’s Department recently said it had cleared the passport backlog that had haunted it since 2006. ]]> News and Headlines Exzim http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17078 Old Timers Sex http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17075&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Sep 2010 23:09:49 GMT An elderly couple were sitting in a diner and the husband leans over and asks his wife,

'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Pete, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by their walking sticks.

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed.

He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and puts their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!!!! ]]> General Jokes ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17075 A Strong Password Isn’t the Strongest Security http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17074&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Sep 2010 08:03:09 GMT Hmmm I have my same password for my e-mail ever since I started with my yahoo e-mail address back in 1999... never been hacked in and it is not a... Hmmm I have my same password for my e-mail ever since I started with my yahoo e-mail address back in 1999... never been hacked in and it is not a long password.... Doro

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/A-Stro...44559.html?x=0

On Saturday September 4, 2010, 4:33 pm EDT
MAKE your password strong, with a unique jumble of letters, numbers and punctuation marks. But memorize it — never write it down. And, oh yes, change it every few months.
These instructions are supposed to protect us. But they don’t.
Some computer security experts are advancing the heretical thought that passwords might not need to be “strong,” or changed constantly. They say onerous requirements for passwords have given us a false sense of protection against potential attacks. In fact, they say, we aren’t paying enough attention to more potent threats.
Here’s one threat to keep you awake at night: Keylogging software, which is deposited on a PC by a virus, records all keystrokes — including the strongest passwords you can concoct — and then sends it surreptitiously to a remote location.
“Keeping a keylogger off your machine is about a trillion times more important than the strength of any one of your passwords,” says Cormac Herley, a principal researcher at Microsoft Research who specializes in security-related topics. He said antivirus software could detect and block many kinds of keyloggers, but “there’s no guarantee that it gets everything.”
After investigating password requirements in a variety of settings, Mr. Herley is critical not of users but of system administrators who aren’t paying enough attention to the inconvenience of making people comply with arcane rules. “It is not users who need to be better educated on the risks of various attacks, but the security community,” he said at a meeting of security professionals, the New Security Paradigms Workshop, at Queen’s College in Oxford, England. “Security advice simply offers a bad cost-benefit tradeoff to users.”
One might guess that heavily trafficked Web sites — especially those that provide access to users’ financial information — would have requirements for strong passwords. But it turns out that password policies of many such sites are among the most relaxed. These sites don’t publicly discuss security breaches, but Mr. Herley said it “isn’t plausible” that these sites would use such policies if their users weren’t adequately protected from attacks by those who do not know the password.
Mr. Herley, working with Dinei Florêncio, also at Microsoft Research, looked at the password policies of 75 Web sites. At the Symposium on Usable Privacy and Security, held in July in Redmond, Wash., they reported that the sites that allowed relatively weak passwords were busy commercial destinations, including PayPal, Amazon.com and Fidelity Investments. The sites that insisted on very complex passwords were mostly government and university sites. What accounts for the difference? They suggest that “when the voices that advocate for usability are absent or weak, security measures become needlessly restrictive.”
Donald A. Norman, a co-founder of the Nielsen Norman Group, a design consulting firm in Fremont, Calif., makes a similar case. In “When Security Gets in the Way,” an essay published last year, he noted the password rules of Northwestern University, where he then taught. It was a daunting list of 15 requirements. He said unreasonable rules can end up rendering a system less secure: users end up writing down passwords and storing them in places that can be readily discovered.
“These requirements keep out the good guys without deterring the bad guys,” he said.
Northwestern has reduced its password requirements to eight, but they still constitute a challenging maze. For example, the password can’t have more than four sequential characters from the previous seven passwords, and a new password is required every 120 days.
By contrast, Amazon has only one requirement: that the password be at least six characters. That’s it. And hold on to it as long as you like.
A short password wouldn’t work well if an attacker could try every possible combination in quick succession. But as Mr. Herley and Mr. Florêncio note, commercial sites can block “brute-force attacks” by locking an account after a given number of failed log-in attempts. “If an account is locked for 24 hours after three unsuccessful attempts,” they write, “a six-digit PIN can withstand 100 years of sustained attack.”
Roger A. Safian, a senior data security analyst at Northwestern, says that unlike Amazon, the university is unfortunately vulnerable to brute-force attacks in that it doesn’t lock out accounts after failed log-ins. The reason, he says, is that anyone could use a lockout policy to try logging in to a victim’s account, “knowing that you won’t succeed, but also knowing that the victim won’t be able to use the account, either.” (Such thoughts may occur to a student facing an unwelcome exam, who could block a professor from preparations.)
VERY short passwords, taken directly from the dictionary, would be permitted in a password system that Mr. Herley and Stuart Schechter at Microsoft Research developed with Michael Mitzenmacher at Harvard.
At the Usenix Workshop on Hot Topics in Security conference, held last month in Washington, the three suggested that Web sites with tens or hundreds of millions of users, could let users choose any password they liked — as long as only a tiny percentage selected the same one. That would render a list of most often used passwords useless: by limiting a single password to, say, 100 users among 10 million, the odds of an attacker getting lucky on one attempt per account are astronomically long, Mr. Herley explained in a conversation last month.
Mr. Herley said the proposed system hadn’t been tested and that users might become frustrated in trying to select a password that was no longer available. But he said he believed an anything-is-permitted password system would be welcomed by users sick of being told, “Eat your broccoli; a strong password is good for security.”
Randall Stross is an author based in Silicon Valley and a professor of business at San Jose State University. E-mail: stross@nytimes.com ]]> Technology Doro http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17074 More fond recollections of Bulawayo: http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17072&goto=newpost Wed, 08 Sep 2010 01:45:20 GMT At the risk of further upsetting Howie by posting in the wrong place, I have moved here to continue my "recollections" of Bulawayo. The initial post on " where to live" triggered several memories and I post them here. Now some of you may be of the opinion that I am one of those who never let the truth get in the way a "good yarn" can rest assured that the following is all true and apart from a bit of "writers licence" is as I recall it.

Hope it brings a smile or two!!


In July 1964 I was “frogmarched” onto the train at Salisbury Railway Station to travel to Bulawayo to do my national service. We arrived at Heany Junction on a freezing morning to a welcoming committee of 3 Regular Army Corporals and a fleet of Bedford trucks.
One of the Corporals “welcoming” us was named Anton Van Driel, whose only claim to fame – apart from being a sadistic schizophrenic bastard with a personality disorder - was the ability to see through the visor of his cap, which was pulled over his eyes and rested on his nose – God only knows how he did it, but in the following weeks that we were at his mercy, I never saw his eyes, but by God he never missed a thing!!!
The man also lacked basic communication skills and his directions were invariably bellowed at the top of his voice and were gratuitously interspersed with “jaslik!, youse ouens! and I’ll jus wipe that fokkin sommer smile from your face!
Back to our arrival! On alighting the train, the afore mentioned smooth talking Corporal Van Driel instructed us to board the trucks and we were driven to the old Heany airfield. On arrival we were asked to debus and to gather around him as he had a small task for us to perform.
On gathering around, a hanger on the disused airfield was pointed out, and the instruction was “Now I jus want youse ouens to go for a little run around that hanger and sommer report back here!” So, off we trundled, I was fortunate in that I had been playing rugby and was in reasonable condition, so managed the run without too much bother, not so for many in our group who were clearly unprepared and came back coughing and wheezing from the exertion.
“Juslik, now that was very good said Corporal Van Driel in his endearing manner, but youse ouens are thick and jus ran around the wrong hanger, I meant that one over there!!”
Now I should mention here, that this second hanger was a mere speck on the horizon and the sighs of disbelief from the gathered throng brought a twisted smile to the face of our new found tormentor. So, off we ran for the second time and I guess about half an hour later, the last of our number staggered, literally back to the trucks and we were driven to Llewellyn Barracks to commence our National Service.
The following 6 weeks was Phase 1 of our basic training and comprised rigorous training in all aspects of modern warfare, like running up and down the rifle range butts 10 times for failing to remove an offending hair from your nose, or 50 “push ups” for getting your “takkies” dirty after having been instructed to run through a mud puddle and going on a route march with bricks packed in your backpack to “make a man of you”.
And of course the infamous “jankers”, which was punishment meted out for failing to have a perfectly square bed pack or a speck of dust on the brasses of your 38 Pattern Webbing, or some other minor infringement picked up by Corporal Van Driel at morning inspection.
For those of you not up with the idiosyncrasies and nuances of Military Warfare, jankers involved getting dressed in your PT gear and running to the guard house (some 500m distant) for inspection by the Regimental Police, running back to barracks and changing into your fatigues, running back to the guard house for inspection and then back to barracks and changing into full dress kit including mirror shining spat and polished boots, running to the guard house for the 3rd inspection and finally back again. This was done in your own time after knock off and if you failed any of the inspections, it was all on again the next night!!! All heady, exciting and character building stuff!!!.
One must remember that this was 1964 and the only threat to Empire and country was invasion by the Russians and part of our “training” also involved running in and out of smoke filled hangars with gas masks on!!!!


More to follow, when I get the urge !!!! ]]> Zim Nostalgia ozwheels http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17072 and Australia finally has a government http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17071&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 05:48:39 GMT After 2 weeks of selling their souls Labor appear to be back in power. :smiley35::smiley35::smiley35: about bloody time! After 2 weeks of selling their souls Labor appear to be back in power.

:smiley35::smiley35::smiley35: about bloody time! ]]> News and Headlines biffon http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17071 Joke Pic How to correctly hold on in a moving train http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17069&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 12:45:14 GMT How to correctly hold on in a moving train How to correctly hold on in a moving train










No, No……..the old guy by the door…
Attached Images
File Type: jpg image0011.jpg (27.3 KB)
]]> Adult and Sexist! Doro http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17069 Extreme5 Challenge - 12th September 2010 - Milton Keynes http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17068&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 12:27:29 GMT If you are not busy on Sunday 12th September, why not come to Willen Lake, Milton Keynes for a fun day out and to cheer us on - check out the website... If you are not busy on Sunday 12th September, why not come to Willen Lake, Milton Keynes for a fun day out and to cheer us on - check out the website http://www.extreme5challenge.co.uk/

The Jacarandas team comprising of Lindsey Dodds (swimming 1.5k), Shaun Jarvis (kayaing 5k), Charlene Johnson (cycling 30k) and Lynne Rushforth - me (running 10k) have entered as a team and part of our challenge is to try and raise £2000, which is a lot of money, but if everyone just gives £5 it will make such a difference.

PLEASE PLEASE SPONSOR US!! One click on the link http://www.justgiving.com/Jacarandas You would be helping an elderley person in Zimbabwe, who without Homes In Zimbabwe Charity, some of them would starve!!! ]]> Events lynnielynne http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17068 The Dallas Bishop Memorial Cricket Festival - 18th September 2010 http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17067&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 08:03:55 GMT *The Dallas Bishop Memorial Cricket Festival* Posted by Emlyn Kuhn on Facebook Date set for the 18th September 2010. A Cricket Festival and Family... The Dallas Bishop Memorial Cricket Festival

Posted by Emlyn Kuhn on Facebook
Date set for the 18th September 2010.

A Cricket Festival and Family Day in memory of my beloved sister Dallas Bishop (nee Kuhn) who was tragically taken from us back in 2008 in our home country of Zimbabwe.

This event was such a success in it's first year at Chard Cricket Club in Chard, Somerset, (Chard Cricket Club, Dening Field, Fore Street. Chard, Somerset, TA20 1JL) that we have decided to make it a yearly event to be held at the same venue. The cricket festival comprises a number of teams, playing T20 style cricket games & competing for the Dallas Bishop Memorial Trophy. Full bar & catering, bouncy castle & music is available.

A short Prize Giving ceremony is held in the evening where prizes for Best Batsman, Best Bowler, Best Fielder and Dick of the Day are handed out. There will also be Cricket Memorabilia up for Auction too.

The chosen charity last year was the Cardiac Arrest in the Young Charity and once again we have decided to get behind them again this year. So, put it in your diaries and bring the family down for the weekend to either camp or stay in the local B&Bs. ]]> Events Doro http://www.thechiefbaboon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17067